NOURNA'S PATROL

 Today I want to look at another God Factor spin off idea. Yes another one from the story arc idea where Dominick goes to different worlds recruiting new heroes to the forces of light. In one world he met a young soldier named Nourna.

Nourna is the last soldier of an army that no longer exists for a nation that was destroyed. Nourna was the second in command of her patrol. The enemy they fought overwhelmed them and Nourna was the only survivor. She returned home to find her nation had fallen. Now Nourna roams the land upholding the ideals of her destroyed homeland and helping those in need.

I made this collage with a few AI generated images of Nourna's description as well as heroforge.com and heromachine.com plus two actual arts from deviantArt. The one of the left was done for me by waterskies. I know I have the name of the artist who did the centerpiece image written down but I can't seem to find it right now so I will update that later if I find it.

Not long after Nourna began her travels, she met Arma who became her traveling companion and best friend. Arma is a demi-god, the daughter of Bellatorius, the god of war. No mortal weapon can harm Arma. No matter what weapon is being used, it will shatter the moment it impacts her skin. The only exception are divinely blessed weapons that are very rare, so she does not worry about them most of the time. Nourna is still dealing with a lot of trauma from losing everything and Arma provides some upbeat energy that helps lift her spirits.

The centerpiece of this collage was done for me by demoonial on deviantArt. It also includes a heromachine.com version I made and a base I used for the early concept of Arma's outfit. The rest are the AI genereated results from Arma's description.

Pyrim is a traveling adventuring archer. He met Nourna and Arma on an adventure and teamed up with them for a time. He immediately took a liking to Nourna but she was not ready for a relationship so soon after everything she lost. Pyrim continues his own travels and helps Nourna whenever he can hoping for the day when she will be ready to get close to someone again.

There is only one AI image in this one, the rest are heroforge.com and a warrior dress up game.

Athela and Berthela are beatiful twins who become allies to Nourna and Arma. The twins are in fact the demi-god daughters of the goddess of love. Athela became a spell casting priestess serving their mother's religion. Berthela on the other hand rejects their mother's power and chooses to be a warrior. They travel together doing good works and team up with Nourna when the opportunity arises.

The twins are characters than came about when I decided to recolor some line art pieces that some artists did for me. The one for Athela was done for me by demoonial. Unfortunately I can't seem to find the name of the artist that did the Berthela one. I know I had a file with all this information but I seem to have lost stuff after transferring over to this new computer. Anyway I also made versions of them in heromachine and got a few results from their description in an AI image generator.

And that will be all for today. There are a few other characters in the same world as Nourna but I will post them later. Also I need to decide on a name for the world this story takes place on.

Natalia and Friends

 I have made many more character collages over the last few weeks and I shall continue to make more.

Today I will show you Natalia and her friends. This is another God Factor spin off from the time Dominick goes around recruiting new heroes across the multiverse. At one point in the story arc Dominick finds himself in Los Angeles and he meets a girl named Natalia and some stuff happens and other characters are introduced and I will get into that more as I present the collages.

Natalia is a California beach boardwalk fitness skater girl. When Dominick meets her, he can sense that she has latent psychokinetic powers that become fully awakened by the end of the story. After that she begins her adventures as a beach boardwalk fitness skater girl with psychokinetic powers who fights the forces of evil.

This collage contains a few dress up game images that helped me figure out Natalia's fashion. It also contains two drawings done for me by actual artists on devaintArt. The one on the left was done for me by Akiko Ai Kureshi. The one on the right is an unfinished sketch that I managed to color myself done for me by Butteredeggs. And a lot of the rest are indeed AI generated collage fodder.

The next character is Natalia's best friend Julie. Julie is another California pretty girl but she is not into skating like Natalia is but they have been friends since they were kids. Julie is an ordinary human with no preternatural abilities of any kind. She is just the main heroines best friend and always there to support her. Sometimes an ordinary human point of view is just what the hero of the story needs.

This collage is made with a mix of dress up games and AI images like the others.

The next character is Jareth. Jareth is a genetically engineered shape shifter who was created in a mysterious secret corporate laboratory. Jareth escaped from the secret lab and ended up becoming friends with Natalia and Julie. The girls teach him the ways of the outside world that is ignorant of due to being born and raised in a secret lab. Jareth can't alter his mass or density but he can change his appearance and even rearrange his internal organs if needed. Jareth's base form is male but he can become a she with ease, or even an animal as long as it has equal mass.

This collage contains a dress up game image and some heroforge.com screenshots as well as the base I used for the original Jareth outfit concept.

The next member of the friend group is an alien lizard man named Etheel. He comes from the planet Lasidor. Etheel is actually the Eighth member of the Council of Light. Like all councilors he was once an ordinary mortal who was touched by the Divine Element and gained great power. But his mind could barely handle the multiversal vision of a councilor so he had to go into isolation to meditate and learn to control it. Eventually Etheel found that isolation was not helping him control his abilities. He decided it would be better to spend time on the mortal plane of existence to gain mastery over his powers. And by chance this happened at the same time Dominick was aiding Natalia. The beaches of southern California reminded Etheel of his home planet so he decided to stay and hang out with Natalia and her friends. Now Etheel does not disguise himself as a human, but he can give off a telepathic suggestive signal that just makes people kind of not notice that he is a lizard man from another planet.

This collage was made with heroforge.com screenshots, the heromachine character maker and one drawing done for me by cavyspirit of deviantArt.

Now lets talk about the villain of this story.

Rodazz Denrek Akez Lemad comes from the planet Jurhk. He was once a tyrannical monarch who was touched by the Divine Element and became a Councilor of Light. But then he murdered one of the other councilors in an attempt to usurp the council and become the one and only lord of light. He was no match for the combined power of the other five remaining councilors and they banished him to a netherrealm where he could not hurt anyone. They decided to keep him alive just in case they ever needed his abilities. But Rodazz was not one to just take his punishment and began pushing against the fabric of his prison. His voice reached many worlds and one cult after another sprang up to worship him and plot to set him free. One of those cults was in Southern California were Natalia lives. In fact her ex-boyfriend became the avatar for Rodazz to inhabit so he could break out of his prison. This was the event that caused Natalia to awaken to her full psychokinetic potential. Rodazz was defeated but his cult survived and still works to set him free.

This collage was made with some heroforge.com screenshots, a few AI generated images that did not look like total crap, and one drawing done for me by AzurexTwilight on deviantArt.

There you have the main characters and the main villain from the story of Natalia and her friends.

The Ballad of the Dreadwalker

 Today I will post some collages from the Twisted Western series of short stories I am working on. Twisted Westerns is an anthology series my local writing group, The Writing Journey, has been developing. If any of them read this article they might recognize the names of these characters.

My original concept for Ballad of the Dreadwalker was a bit convoluted taking place in a far flung post apocalyptic future. But when they explained the alternate history North America of the Twisted Westerns fantasy setting, I decided to transplant the Dreadwalker and his cast there because it sounded like a perfect fit. I had to edit out and change some of the details tied to the timeline of the post apocalyptic setting but it still works.

Twisted Westerns takes place in a version of the Old West of North America where history went in a very different direction. The United States of a America as we know it does not exist, instead a very different version of the nation and states exist. The Aztec Empire still exists. Texas is divided into North and South kingdoms. The plains are divided into a series of free city states. And many other things are different.

Lets take a look at The Ballad of the Dreadwalker

 Fifteen years ago, the noble House of Draeden was destroyed. Their manor was burned and the family and servants killed. The only survivor was a boy named Seamus. Now Seamus of the House of Draeden is a bounty hunter known as the Dreadwalker. He travels across the Twisted West making a living and searching for any clue that will lead him to Damien Rex, the man who lead the attack on his home that night. Seamus will make allies and enemies on his journey and learn the perils of revenge.

SEAMUS OF THE HOUSE OF DRAEDEN

THE DREADWALKER

 Seamus was just a kid when his home and family were destroyed. He generally tries to keep his identity as the last surviving member of the House of Draeden a secret. He has grown up to work as a bounty hunter known as the Dreadwalker for his uncanny ability to sneak up his targets. He still seeks any clue that might lead him to Damien Rex but so far the outlaw has eluded him. He tried to live a solitary existence but he managed to make some friends anyway.

 

 MORDECAI HATTS

Mordecai Hatts is a young gunsmith, engineer, and inventor. Seamus came across his remote workshop by accident and that chance meeting turned into a friendship. Mordecai always has some new gadget for Seamus to test out in the field and half they time they even work the way they are supposed to. He supports Seamus however he can but also encourages him to stop to enjoy the little things in life when he can.

As I have starting writing these stories I find there are still some details of Mordecai's background that I need to work out. I need to do some research to determine what tribe he would be from. And I need to decide how he ended up making his workshop in the middle of nowhere.

 

DESDEMONA JEWEL

   When Seamus met Desdemona, she was chained to a bed in a pleasure house and dressed up in a belly dancer harem girl costume. She had attempted to rob the pleasure house and it had not worked out. Seamus rescued her from her predicament and she had been a part of his life ever since whether he wants her or not. Desdemona switched careers to bounty hunting and takes every chance to team up with Seamus. She and Mordecai became fast friends and together they work to get Seamus to be a little more upbeat.

Desdemon is a woman with many secrets. I have an idea of what those secrets are but I will fill in the details as I writer the story.

 

SHADOW CORTES

 The night the House of Draeden was destroyed, Shadow Cortes was there and rescued Seamus. She took care of him after that, teaching him to survive and the way of the gun. When he was old enough she sent Seamus on his quest with her blessing.

Shadow was a blind gunslinger who carried the title of The Augustus, an ancient charge to watch the border between the regular and supernatural worlds. Each Augustus can pass down some of their knowledge to their successor which gave Shadow the skills she needed to make her blindness of little consequence to her gun fighting skills.

TEMPERANCE JAMESON

The last time Seamus saw Shadow, shortly before she died, she told him the name of the woman she had chosen to be the next Augustus.

 Temperance Jameson is a Texas Kingdom Marshal. This gives her a decent amount of authority across the West, if only because no one wants the hassle of getting in a Marshal's way. Temperance knows who Seamus is but does not have any sentimentality towards him like Shadow did. She distrusts bounty hunters but chooses not to interfere with Seamus in his pursuit of Damien Rex.

 

DAMIEN REX

 Long before the night he destroyed the House of Draeden, Damien Rex was a notorious outlaw. But his previous crimes consisted of roguish theft and vandalism. Never before or since had he committed such murderous violence. To this day no one knows why he attacked a noble house. There has been a massive bounty on his head ever since but no one has been able to capture him. He can be recognized by his signature tall black hat, long black coat, all black clothes, and black staff. But he is never recognized for his face. Many people have seen Damien Rex in person, but not one of them can remember what his face looks like. This has caused many theories to pop up about how he may be something more or perhaps less than human.

And those are the major characters from The Ballad of the Dreadwalker. As with the previous collages the images came from a mix of dress up games, heroforge.com, and some AI generated images.

The Four Elemental Warriors

 Like many people, I have been having a rough time this month. I have been taking comfort in my art, both in my writing, and in the recent series of character collages I have been making for various stories.

There have been many stories about four heroes who wield the powers of the elements. I came up with my own back when I was a kid in school, somewhere around junior high. It was originally going to be a spin off of The God Factor where there is a story arc where main character Dominick goes on a sort of recruiting spree across the multiverse looking for new heroes. He encounters a parallel world where the United States never expanded much beyond the original 13 states and most of North America is still controlled by native tribes who formed a federation. Also magic still persists in the world. When a great need arises the tribes will come together to appoint champions of the four elements to defend the world. In this case Earth is invaded by giant alien worms that adapt to the environment and then begin terraforming a planet to their needs. The worms don't care how many humans die in the process so the four elemental warriors are called to fight them.

In my original concept the warrior were going to be four brothers. Then looking at the concept again many years later as an adult I decided to change that and have equal number of men and women, and for them to not be related at all. Now lets take a look at these champions.

AMOS ROUGHSTONE

 Amos Roughstone is the elemental warrior of earth. He is able to move rock and soil with his will alone. He is also very muscular and draws on the power of earth to give himself superhuman strength and durability. At some point I decided that he is a very upbeat and energetic guy.

 

TABITHA COLDRIVER

Tabitha Coldriver is the elemental warrior of water. She can manipulate water to her will. She can also walk on the surface of water if she wants or she can swim at super speed. I decided that Tabitha is the most mission focused member of the group, determined to defeat the worms. Perhaps she suffered some personal tragedy from them or maybe she just takes issue with the idea that giant worms showed up one day and declared themselves the new residents of earth at the expense of everyone who already lives there.

 

MONICA SWIFTCLOUD

Monica Swiftcloud is the elemental warrior of wind. She can control all the air around her. She can even use it to make herself fly and levitate objects. Monica is a very optimistic young woman but gives of a much more laid back energy than someone like Amos. She hopes the four elemental warriors can all be friends and not just co-workers.

 

JUDE FALLINGSTAR

 Jude Fallingstar is the elemental warrior of fire. He can summon fire with a thought and control where and when it burns and how high or low. From the first day I came up with this concept, Jude Fallingstar was the one I had the most clear image of, and the only one whose name has remained unchanged from my original notes. Jude tries to set himself apart from the others, not out of pride, but because he knows he is capable of destruction on a scale far beyond the rest. The other elements are also suited for sowing life. Jude feels like his power is only good for fighting and destroying. Amos and Monica are always trying be friendly and get him to open up. Tabitha respects professionalism but even she finds Jude's brooding a bit much at times.

And there you have The Four Elemental Warriors, champions of an alternate history North America that is being invaded by giant alien worms. I don't have any concept images for the worms. I know what they should look like but there are not giant worm dress up games or character makers with giant worm options. Any attempt to put a description of the worms into an AI image generator all came out looking like crap.

If I ever did go forward with developing this story idea further I would have to do a lot more research on Native American tribes to figure out where exactly each warrior is from and how the whole federation of tribes works.

The Planet of Oz

 It is time for this blog to rise again from the ashes. Yes Blogger still exists and I still have some blogs on there that I have not update for several years. I recently posted some character collages on a facebook album but their algorithms don't get much traffic so I am going to post them here too.

I will be posting character collages from many different story ideas I have had that I hope to finish one day. We will begin with my science fiction retelling of The Wizard of Oz.

THE PLANET OF OZ

Somewhere in the future, when humanity has spread to the stars and set up farming colony on distant moon. On this moon lives a young woman named Dorothy and her dog Toto. One day a 'wizard' technician comes to upgrade the colony environmental system. Soon after a climate control malfunction threatened to cause the colony ecosystem to collapse. The entire colony had to be evacuated through wormholes to a place on Earth called Kansas. Dorothy entered her escape pod like everyone else but the wormhole she entered suddenly became unstable and she was sent to unknown coordinates.

Dorothy and Toto found themselves on a strange alien planet called Oz. Dorothy finds herself caught in the middle of a 'War of Witches' that threatens to engulf the planet. Dorothy must make her way to the Emerald City, the one place that might be able to help her get home. On the way she befriends 3 unusual beings each looking for something to make them whole.

 Lets look at the characters.

 

DOROTHY

 

Dorothy is just another worker on the farm colony. Toto is a genetically enhanced herding dog and her closest companion. When the emergency escape wormhole became unstable they ended up in space above the Planet of Oz. The pod was able to make a landing but it accidentally collided with a transport ship along the way and Dorothy ends up with a strange alien symbiote attached to her legs. She must make her way to the Emerald City to get it removed and meets some friends along the way.

The first few images used in this collage came from dress up games you can find on the internet at places like dolldivine.com or azaleasdolls.com. The image I used for Toto is just a stock image of a herding dog. And yes there are a few AI generated images in there. No, AI generated images are not real art, but if there is anything redeemable about them it is as fodder in a collage like this.

I don't want Dorothy to wear the same outfit the whole story. She starts off in her hot farm girl outfit. Then once she is on the Planet of Oz she gets a new traveling outfit for her journey. And once she arrives in the Emerald City she would try out some of their fashion.

 

 

SCARECROW

 On the Planet of Oz, the Scarecrow is a biological robot made from living plant matter. He was assigned to watch over a farm field and keep it pest free. During the war, the field was abandoned and Scarecrow was left behind. He has been left without maintenance long enough that his nervous system has begun to degrade. He joins Dorothy on her journey hoping to be rejuvenated in the Emerald City.

 

 

TINMAN

 On the planet of Oz, the Tinman is a cyborg lumberman. He has had more than a few work accidents that have left a great deal of his body replaced with cybernetics and he opted to get the full body armor treatment. He still has most of his own bones, nervous system, and internal organs, but his synthetic heart needs to be replaced before it breaks down.He joins Dorothy on her journey hoping he can get a new heart in the Emerald City.

 

THE LION

 On the Planet of Oz, the Lion is a disgraced military commander. In an early battle during the War of Witches, he chose to retreat from battle to save the lives of his soldiers rather than risk them by pushing forward. He was branded a coward for this and stripped of his rank. Since then he spent most days drinking and brooding. He agrees to join Dorothy on the slim chance he might reclaim some of his former glory.

 

THE GOOD WITCH

 The Good Witch leads the forces of Oz defending the planet from the Wicked Witch's invasion. She homed in one Dorothy's escape pod distress signal and sent her on the journey to Emerald City.

 

THE WICKED WITCH

 The Wicked Witch was exiled from Oz many years ago for carrying out inhumane and abominable experiments on intelligent life. She built a stronghold on a distant moon and returned to invade and conquer, so began the War of Witches. The transport ship that Dorothy's escape pod knocked off course was carrying a valuable symbiotic weapon that could win the war for whoever possesses it. Now that the symbiote is stuck on Dorothy, the Wicked Witch hunts her to get it back.

 

 THE WIZARD

 The Wizard was an inventor trying to sell his latest invention to the farming colony. However it malfunctioned and he was quick to make his escape. He also ended up in an unstable wormhole and landed on the Planet of Oz long before Dorothy and managed to set himself up nicely in the Emerald City. Dorothy's appearance will force him to confront his past mistakes and help save The Planet of Oz.

 

There they are, all the major character from The Planet of Oz. I made each collage with a combination of dress up games from Doll Divine and Azaleas Dolls, as well as Heroforge.com, and a few AI generated images. I don't know if this is the only redeemable way to make use of AI images, but I liked putting these together and I will be posting more soon for other story ideas.

This Blog Still Exists

 It has been 9 years since the last time I posted on this or any of the other blogs I started.

I think I might start posting things again.

My Terrible Fan Fic

Rainbow Dash Becomes A Boy

It was a sunny day in Ponyland when Rainbow Dash set out on her mission. She hovered above the land and looked down at all the ponies.


“I have no choice,” she said, “I will become a boy. It is the only way.”

Rainbow Dash took one last look at her home of Ponyland; she saw all of the ponies looked so small like ants below.

So Rainbow Dash flew into the sky as fast as he wings would fly and she came to move at such super speed that she broke the barriers between realities and entered a new world where she would find those who could help her become a boy.

Rainbow Dash emerged from the dimensional vortex in a room with a boy and two girls. The boy had a camera and the brunette girl was there and the blonde girl.

“Cool,” said Rainbow Dash, “are you guys filming a porno?”

“No we’re trying to make a live web show,” said the boy, “who the hell are you?”

“I’m Rainbow Dash and I need your help. I have obviously come to the right place. You are the iCarly kids and you must help me become a boy.”

“Aren’t you already a boy?” said Freddie. His name is Freddie right? Well from now on in this story his name is Freddy whether it really is or not.

“Fuck you” said Rainbow Dash.

“Wow that talking pony is rude,” said Carly’s blonde friend. What the hell is her name? Who cares? For the rest of this story she shall be Carly’s blonde friend.

“I don’t think we can help you become a boy,” said Carly, “but you are a cute pony with wings that talks.”

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “You will help me become a boy, you must.”

“How the hell are we supposed to help you become a boy?” asked Freddy.

“You will find a way,” said Rainbow Dash, “I must become a boy, FOR LOVE.”

“For love?” asked Carly with interest. She was moved by love.

“The only way for me to be with my one true love is to become a boy,” said Rainbow Dash on the verge of tears.

The ICarly kids were so moved by Rainbow Dash’s words that they too were overcome with emotion and began to shed tears of sympathy.

“Yes we will help you Rainbow Dash,” said Carly as the tears flowed down her face.

“Stop crying you weenies,” said Rainbow Dash who had controlled her emotions at the last moment. “We can’t have crying on this mission. It will be very dangerous. We must control our emotions. But thank you for helping me.”

“Okay cool,” said Freddy “but first we have to finish filming ICarly.”

“Fuck you and your web show,” said Rainbow Dash, “We have to leave right now. Besides who even watches this crap, everything you do is stupid. At least you have a hot girl on this show, that’s probably the only reason you’re still on.”

“Hey you can’t say that I’m hot that’s perverted,” said Carly.

“Actually I think its okay because we’re all 18 in real life now,” said Carly’s blonde friend.

“Yeah so it’s about time for you start posing in skin magazines and doing nude scenes in movies,” said Rainbow Dash, “or are you afraid that Disney will invoke the morality clause in your contract and fire you.”

“Our show is on Nickelodeon not Disney,” said Freddy.

“What the difference?” said Rainbow Dash.

“Well for one Disney makes a lot more money,” said Freddy, “but then again on Nickelodeon we can get away with a lot more sexual innuendo.”

“That’s what I like to hear, now get out of the way so I can touch Carly’s boobs.” said Rainbow Dash.

“You are a pervert,” said Carly, “and you are not a boy.”

Rainbow Dash was taken aback, “how can you be so rude Carly? I came her because you are the only people in the universe who can somehow help me become a boy so I can be with my one true love and its not Pinkie Pie, I hate Pinkie Pie. Now are you going to help me or not.”

Carly apologized, “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash. I know I’m 18 in real life but on the show we exist in an ill defined timeline where we are always underage high school students.”

“It’s okay Carly you can still help me become a boy.”

“Oh yeah,” said Freddy and Carly’s blonde friend in agreement.

Is her name Sam or Sammy or something? No Sammy was the chick from Days of Our Lives. Yeah her name will be Sam now that is correct.

Rainbow Dash got ready to fly on, “okay everyone hop on my back and we will fly to another dimension and continue my quest to become a boy.”

Freddy Sam and Carly all jumped on Rainbow Dash’s back and the pony flapped her wings and they went into the air and zoomed so fast that they tore through time and space into another dimension.

They hit the ground with a thud.

“Ouch” said the ICarly kids.

“How did I crash?” said Rainbow Dash.

Then they looked up and they saw Optimus Prime.

“Hi kids,” said Optimus Prime, “welcome to this dimension.”

“What’s wrong with your CG?” asked Rainbow Dash, “I mean the animation and graphics are not bad they just seem to be at least ten years out of date.”

“This is Transformers Prime,” said Optimus Prime, “but I know what you mean, our movie made a billion fucking dollars and they barely gave us a computer animation budget for this show. And why the hell do they keep updating and redoing all of the shows every two or three years. Have you seen what they are doing with Batman? What the hell is up with that? And the Legion show was on for what like a year before they replaced it with Young Justice, you know they are going to cancel young justice and come up with something completely different in like six months right? Why? Because they are assholes and they hate our children and they are trying to destroy their attention spans.”

“Yeah,” said Carly’s blonde friend named Sam, “it is all part of the capitalist oligarchy conspiracy. They do the same thing on our show. They are constantly subtly sexualizing Carly and the rest of us while at the same time having us behave in a childlike fashion to promote the earlier and earlier sexualization of children but at the same time they heavily vilify pedophiles in the media so that people will be afraid of becoming pedophiles and drive them deeper into the pseudo religious capitalist mentality that they love to manipulate.”

Sam looked around at the faces of the people around her. They were all staring at her with their mouths gaping open.

“Fuck you guys,” said Sam, “the capitalist conspiracy is real and you are all in its grip.”

“Listen do you guys want to come back to the Autobot base or what?” asked Optimus Prime.

“We do.” said Rainbow Dash.

At the Autobot base Rainbow Dash explained that she wanted to become a boy to be with her one true love and the Autobots were also moved to almost tears but they decided not to cry because they are robots.

“I’m not sure what we can do to help you become a boy but we will try our best,” said Optimus Prime.

“Why don’t you just have a sex change operation?” asked Freddy and Rainbow Dash slapped him across the face so hard he fell to the ground. Carly quickly rushed to his side.

“Why did you slap my boyfriend?” asked Carly.

“Am I your boyfriend on the show?” asked Freddy. I was never really clear on that. What is the deal with those two anyway?

“I will never have a sex change operation,” said Rainbow Dash as she hovered over them in rage. “I will be pure in my transformation to a boy.”

She turned to the Autobots and said, “I need your help. Use energon to turn me into a boy.”

“How the hell is energon supposed to turn you into a boy?” asked Optimus Prime.

“Bring me a cube of energon and I will chew on it,” demanded Rainbow Dash.

“That’s really not safe,” said an Autobot.

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “I will chew on a block of energon and I will become a boy.”

Just then one of the walls of the Autobot base exploded and Megatron came stomping in followed by his army of robot dogs.

“Where the fuck did you get robot dogs?” said Optimus Prime in anger.

“I ordered them from a catalogue,” said Megatron as he laughed maniacally. Then the iCarly kids caught his eye. Megatron swooped down with his hand and caught all three of the iCarly kids at once. “These little humans are just what I need to complete my experiments.” said Megatron before he flew away.

“Fuck you Megatron,” said Rainbow Dash, “I will hunt you down and reclaim my iCarly kids. They are mine you hear me. MINE.”

Elsewhere in a secret lab, Megatron prepared to experiment on the iCarly kids. He had striped them all naked and bound them with their hands behind their back and their feet so they could not get away.

“You can’t do this,” said Carly, “we’re only kids we can’t be naked in this story.”

“Oh shut up,” said Megatron, “You’re all 18 in real life. I can do whatever I like to you. And I will. I am eager to begin my sexual dark energon experiments. I can already use dark energon to make zombie robots but now I wish to explore the sexual applications of dark energon. I have prepared special dark energon rods and I shall touch your naked bodies with them.”

Carly looked away and tried not to cry. Freddy looked and tried to stay strong for Carly and to endure what was coming. Sam looked Megatron in the eye and said, “You’re an asshole megatron. Why aren’t you dead?”

“I’m only dead in the movies not in the transformers prime universe,” said Megatron, “and apparently I worship Unicron or some shit like that. By the way did anybody else think there was something wrong with the way I died in the movie? I mean did you see what happened. In the second movie Optimus Prime tore the Fallen’s fucking face off. I get it was in the heat of battle and all but still he ripped off his robot face and revealed his robot skull underneath and it killed him. And when he killed me and Sentinel Prime in the last movie I mean we were both defeated and helpless and Optimus Prime just fucking executed us. Didn’t anybody else find that a little disturbing?”

“Megatron I won’t let you touch me friends,” said Sam.

“And how will you stop me?”

“You can have me. Do whatever you want with my body but don’t touch Carly and Freddy?”

“I don’t know I’m not really into blondes.”

“Oh come on I’m a willing test subject. Doesn’t that make your balls tingle or something?”

“Despite what you may have heard from devastator transformers do not have balls,” said Megatron, “god I fucking hate Michael Bay.”

“You and me both,” said Sam, “you know the movies he makes are all about devaluing human life and reinforcing stereotypes that promote social inequality.”

“Yeah assholes like him are on of the biggest tools of the capitalist oligarchy conspiracy,” said Megatron, “the conservatives are always talking about how liberal Hollywood is but when it comes down to it they both bow to the same corporate masters.”

“Megatron agrees with me, see the conspiracy is real,” said Sam excited.

Just then Rainbow Dash smashed a hole in the wall and came face to face with Megatron who had a dark energon rod in his hand.

“I have come to free my friends,” said Rainbow Dash, “you will not molest the iCarly kids who are not really kids anymore but nickelodeon will keep pretending they are as long as their show still makes money.”

“You will never stop me flying pony,” said Megatron, “and you will never be a boy. You will be alone forever.”

“Shut the fuck up,” said Rainbow Dash, “you’re a robot, you don’t have a soul.”

“Fuck you I have a spark,” said Megatron, “it’s like a soul for robots. God you are really rude you know that.”

“Your words will not move me Megatron. I now know your true motives. I know what you have done. I know the dark forces you are in league with.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Megatron getting confused.

“You are in league with my nemesis, CONFUCIUS!!!”

For a moment everyone was stunned.

“Wait a minute, did you say Confucius?” asked Megatron.

“Yes Confucius is my nemesis,” replied Rainbow Dash.

“Confucius is you nemesis?” asked Megatron, “as in The Confucius, the famous ancient Chinese philosopher. He is your nemesis and you think I’m in league with him?”

“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash unmoved in her resolve.

Megatron blinked for a moment then turned to the iCarly kids and asked, “Is this pony high or something? I mean seriously, is she on some kind of mind altering drugs?”

“I don’t know but if she is I need to take a hit of whatever she is smoking,” said Sam.

“Rainbow Dash save us,” Carly called out.

“He wants to test the sexual applications of dark energon on us,” said Freddy.

“Don’t worry my friends,” said Rainbow Dash, “Megatron will not touch your naked young bodies. The only sexual testing will be the testing you do to each other.”

The iCarly kids smiled happily knowing they would soon be rescued.

“I was planning on saving my sexual horse testing for later,” said Megatron, “but I will make an exception for you Rainbow Dash. We will see how the dark energon affects your deranged pony mind.”

Rainbow Dash and Megatron were both poised for battle ready to strike. Then the Autobots walked in through the hole in the wall.

Optimus Prime said, “We are here. We will fight with you to bring and end to Megatron once and for all.”

Rainbow Dash was filled with anger when she turned to the Autobots and shouted, “I told you to wait outside.”

Optimus Prime stood his ground but the other Autobots quickly scrambled away in fear.

“Listen Rainbow Dash I get it you want to take down Megatron by yourself but you should not be doing this alone,” said Optimus Prime, “Now would you please… OH MY GOD, are those teenagers naked? What the hell is wrong with you Megatron? I knew you were an asshole but come on, this is a new low for you.”

“Oh fuck off prime,” said Megatron, “you’ve just been brainwashed by the capitalist plutocracy like everyone else.”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” asked Optimus Prime.

Before anyone else could say anything someone kicked in the door. Suddenly Sam and Dean Winchester came charging in with shotguns in hand ready to fight.

“What are the guys from Supernatural doing here?” asked Optimus Prime.

“It’s probably some shit going on with the angels again,” said Rainbow Dash, “god I am so sick of that story line. If they were going to force the show to stay on the air the least they could have done is come up with a consistent story line instead of all the random crap they’re been throwing around.”

Sam and Dean Winchester began firing their shotguns at Megatron. He was so distracted that he dropped the dark energon rod and it shattered.

“No,” said Megatron, “my dark energon rod has been shattered. I’m going to kill you guys. And by the way your show sucks.”

“Don’t listen to Megatron,” said Rainbow Dash, “he’s just mad that your show always kills off the hot chicks.”

Rainbow Dash then rushed forward. She head-butted Sam and Dean Winchester so hard that she sent them back to their own dimension. Then she turned around and took a flying leap at Megatron. Rainbow Dash kicked Megatron in the eyes with her hooves.

“Ow god damn it my eyes,” said Megatron as he fell to the ground and writhed in pain.

Rainbow Dash hovered above him and said, “Megatron is defeated. Now quickly untie the ICarly kids. You guys look damn fine when you are naked, you should try it more often.”

“Will you stop saying things like that,” said Carly, “it’s really not appropriate.”

“Aren’t you guys all 18 in real life?” said Optimus Prime, “what’s the big deal?”

Carly was infuriated and said, “Just because I’m 18 that doesn’t mean its okay to strip me naked and tie me up and make lewd comments about it. I’m not asking for everyone to stop thinking of me sexually, I know that’s impossible and unrealistic but at the very least you could keep it to yourself and not parade it around like its something to be proud of. Doesn’t anybody have any common decency or taste anymore?”

“Yeah fuck all you perverts,” said Rainbow Dash, “the world will never accept you so you should just blend in and pretend to be normal.”

“You can’t do that,” said Sam, “that’s exactly what the capitalist conspiracy wants you to do? Shame is one of their favorite tools to control the population and all the repressed sexual tension will just turn them into rapists or serial killers or Fox News correspondents.”

Optimus Prime stepped in to save the day, “okay we get it, you should not make lewd comments to young women about how much you like their breasts and naked bodies but at the same time you can’t just pretend that sexual urges don’t exist. In all things you have to find balance. Everyone can benefit from a little porn in their lives but it is a private matter and if you want to discuss it you should do it in an acceptable setting with people who will not be judgmental of you.”

“I think our work here is done,” said Rainbow Dash triumphantly.

Carly looked around and said, “I don’t know what Megatron did with our clothes. What are we supposed to do?”

Optimus Prime scratched his head and said, “We don’t have any clothes so I guess you will have to wait. Being naked is not so bad. We Autobots are always naked. We don’t have genitalia.”

Optimus Prime turned into a truck and invited the iCarly kids to ride in the back. They were still naked. Rainbow Dash joined them. They enjoyed the ride back to the Autobot base. Back in the Decepticon base Megatron was still in a world of pain and vowed to someday take revenge upon Rainbow Dash.

On the way back to the Autobot base the iCarly kids sat next to each other naked and Rainbow Dash was nearby watching from the window.

“You must be cold Carly,” said Freddy, “would you like me to keep you warm?”

“Oh thank you Freddy,” said Carly.

“So what’s the deal with you guys?” asked Rainbow Dash, “are you guys like dating or something on the show? I never understood that.”

Freddy answered, “its one of those things where I’m in love with Carly but she just wants to be friends but I stick around anyway in the hope that someday she will love me back but she keeps dating other guys, you know cliché crap like that.”

“God I hate that kind of bullshit,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah it gets old really fast,” said Freddy, “I’m hoping Carly will go through a slutty phase at some point so I can slip in and get some action.”

“I’m sitting right here,” said Carly, “I can hear everything you say.”

“So let me get this straight,” said Rainbow Dash, “you are in love with Carly and Carly knows that you are in love with her so she strings you along so you will keep filming and editing her web show. Wow Carly that is a really shitty thing to do to another person.”

“I kind of agree,” said Carly, “but hey it pays the bills.”

“I think you and Freddie should fuck,” said Rainbow Dash.

Freddy and Carly looked at each other.

“What do you say Carly?” Freddy asked, “I’m ready if you are.”

“Well we are both 18 in real life now,” said Carly, “but can we really do it like this? With Sam and Rainbow Dash watching and while we are riding in Optimus Prime?”

“Don’t mind me,” said Sam, “I’ve seen it all before and besides it really is about time you paid Freddie back for being such a cock-tease to him for so many years.”

“I disagree,” said Optimus Prime, “If you are going to have sex it should be because you want to, not as repayment for years of cock-blocking, no girl is ever obligated to have sex with any boy. As for doing it while you are riding in me feel free to go ahead with it. Lots of people have fucked inside me before. Wow that sounds really weird when I say it like that. The point is I don’t mind it. There is actually an interesting story behind that. I should tell it to you guys sometime.”

“Get on with the fucking,” shouted Rainbow Dash.

“Okay I’m ready now Freddy,” said Carly.

And so for the rest of the trip Carly and Freddy had sex while Sam and Rainbow Dash watched and Optimus Prime just listened because he had to keep his eyes on the road.

Back at the Autobot base Optimus Prime said, “Thank you Freddy and Carly for not making a big mess while you were having sex. The last time I let humans have sex inside me they used way too much lube and it left a big mess.”

All of the other Autobots stared at Optimus Prime speechless.

“Oh fuck you guys,” said Optimus Prime, “Like none of you have ever had humans fucking inside you before.”

The other Autobots were still speechless.

“Don’t you guys have work to do somewhere,” said Optimus Prime. He was really getting pissed off now.

“Can we get some clothes now?” asked Carly.

“I will return you to your own dimension,” said Rainbow Dash.

“But Rainbow Dash you are still a girl,” said Carly, “we still need to help you become a boy.”

“You already have,” said Rainbow Dash with a smile.

Rainbow Dash rose above the ground and was surrounded by light. When the light faded Rainbow Dash had become a boy. As a boy Rainbow Dash had male pony genitals and bigger more defined muscles.

“Look upon me all of you,” said Rainbow Dash in his new manly voice, “I am a boy now. I have attained powers beyond your comprehension.”

“How the fuck did that happen?” said Optimus Prime totally confused.

“This story has gone on long enough and we are stuck for an ending,” said Rainbow Dash.

“You did it Rainbow Dash,” said the iCarly kids.

“It never would have been possible without you,” said Rainbow Dash.

Then suddenly Rainbow Dash spit. The spit moved with such speed and power it tore a hole in the fabric of reality and opened a gateway back to the iCarly universe.

“Return to your home now and get some clothes on,” said Rainbow Dash, “you have earned your reward.”

The iCarly kids went back to their own world. Before the gateway closed they could all be heard yelling, “Down with the capitalist plutocracy!”

Optimus Prime looked at Rainbow Dash and asked, “Did you just turn the iCarly kids into communists?”

“No I would say they are probably leaning more towards anarchy,” said Rainbow Dash, “well I must return to Ponyland to be with my one true love.”

“I thought the place you are from was called Equestria,” said Optimus Prime.

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “I am from Ponyland and don’t you forget it. And by the way keep an eye out for Confucius you never know when he will show his face again.”

Rainbow Dash zoomed off back to her own universe.

“Maybe that pony was high,” said Optimus Prime, “or maybe I am high? I don’t remember taking a lot of drugs today.”

Back in Ponyland Fluttershy was attending her garden when Rainbow Dash came swooping down.

“Look at me Fluttershy,” said Rainbow Dash, “I have become a boy so I can be with you my one true love.”

“I’m your one true love,” said Fluttershy amazed, “Do you really mean it?”

“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash, “Twilight Sparkle and Rarity are lesbians, Pinkie Pie is an annoying bitch and Applejack just sucks. You are the only one I could ever truly love Fluttershy. Now come with me so I can make sweet love to you.”

“Oh I can’t wait,” said Fluttershy.

And so Rainbow Dash made sweet pony love to Fluttershy and they had many pony children. Then one day Fluttershy began to wonder how it was possible for them to have children.

“How is it possible for us to have so many pony children?” said Fluttershy, “I don’t think that’s how sex changes work.”

“It wasn’t just a sex change,” said Rainbow Dash, “It was the power of love. Now come here so I can make more sweet pony love with you.”

“Oh yes Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy.

And they all lived happily ever after.



The end motherfucker.