This Blog Still Exists

 It has been 9 years since the last time I posted on this or any of the other blogs I started.

I think I might start posting things again.

My Terrible Fan Fic

Rainbow Dash Becomes A Boy

It was a sunny day in Ponyland when Rainbow Dash set out on her mission. She hovered above the land and looked down at all the ponies.


“I have no choice,” she said, “I will become a boy. It is the only way.”

Rainbow Dash took one last look at her home of Ponyland; she saw all of the ponies looked so small like ants below.

So Rainbow Dash flew into the sky as fast as he wings would fly and she came to move at such super speed that she broke the barriers between realities and entered a new world where she would find those who could help her become a boy.

Rainbow Dash emerged from the dimensional vortex in a room with a boy and two girls. The boy had a camera and the brunette girl was there and the blonde girl.

“Cool,” said Rainbow Dash, “are you guys filming a porno?”

“No we’re trying to make a live web show,” said the boy, “who the hell are you?”

“I’m Rainbow Dash and I need your help. I have obviously come to the right place. You are the iCarly kids and you must help me become a boy.”

“Aren’t you already a boy?” said Freddie. His name is Freddie right? Well from now on in this story his name is Freddy whether it really is or not.

“Fuck you” said Rainbow Dash.

“Wow that talking pony is rude,” said Carly’s blonde friend. What the hell is her name? Who cares? For the rest of this story she shall be Carly’s blonde friend.

“I don’t think we can help you become a boy,” said Carly, “but you are a cute pony with wings that talks.”

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “You will help me become a boy, you must.”

“How the hell are we supposed to help you become a boy?” asked Freddy.

“You will find a way,” said Rainbow Dash, “I must become a boy, FOR LOVE.”

“For love?” asked Carly with interest. She was moved by love.

“The only way for me to be with my one true love is to become a boy,” said Rainbow Dash on the verge of tears.

The ICarly kids were so moved by Rainbow Dash’s words that they too were overcome with emotion and began to shed tears of sympathy.

“Yes we will help you Rainbow Dash,” said Carly as the tears flowed down her face.

“Stop crying you weenies,” said Rainbow Dash who had controlled her emotions at the last moment. “We can’t have crying on this mission. It will be very dangerous. We must control our emotions. But thank you for helping me.”

“Okay cool,” said Freddy “but first we have to finish filming ICarly.”

“Fuck you and your web show,” said Rainbow Dash, “We have to leave right now. Besides who even watches this crap, everything you do is stupid. At least you have a hot girl on this show, that’s probably the only reason you’re still on.”

“Hey you can’t say that I’m hot that’s perverted,” said Carly.

“Actually I think its okay because we’re all 18 in real life now,” said Carly’s blonde friend.

“Yeah so it’s about time for you start posing in skin magazines and doing nude scenes in movies,” said Rainbow Dash, “or are you afraid that Disney will invoke the morality clause in your contract and fire you.”

“Our show is on Nickelodeon not Disney,” said Freddy.

“What the difference?” said Rainbow Dash.

“Well for one Disney makes a lot more money,” said Freddy, “but then again on Nickelodeon we can get away with a lot more sexual innuendo.”

“That’s what I like to hear, now get out of the way so I can touch Carly’s boobs.” said Rainbow Dash.

“You are a pervert,” said Carly, “and you are not a boy.”

Rainbow Dash was taken aback, “how can you be so rude Carly? I came her because you are the only people in the universe who can somehow help me become a boy so I can be with my one true love and its not Pinkie Pie, I hate Pinkie Pie. Now are you going to help me or not.”

Carly apologized, “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash. I know I’m 18 in real life but on the show we exist in an ill defined timeline where we are always underage high school students.”

“It’s okay Carly you can still help me become a boy.”

“Oh yeah,” said Freddy and Carly’s blonde friend in agreement.

Is her name Sam or Sammy or something? No Sammy was the chick from Days of Our Lives. Yeah her name will be Sam now that is correct.

Rainbow Dash got ready to fly on, “okay everyone hop on my back and we will fly to another dimension and continue my quest to become a boy.”

Freddy Sam and Carly all jumped on Rainbow Dash’s back and the pony flapped her wings and they went into the air and zoomed so fast that they tore through time and space into another dimension.

They hit the ground with a thud.

“Ouch” said the ICarly kids.

“How did I crash?” said Rainbow Dash.

Then they looked up and they saw Optimus Prime.

“Hi kids,” said Optimus Prime, “welcome to this dimension.”

“What’s wrong with your CG?” asked Rainbow Dash, “I mean the animation and graphics are not bad they just seem to be at least ten years out of date.”

“This is Transformers Prime,” said Optimus Prime, “but I know what you mean, our movie made a billion fucking dollars and they barely gave us a computer animation budget for this show. And why the hell do they keep updating and redoing all of the shows every two or three years. Have you seen what they are doing with Batman? What the hell is up with that? And the Legion show was on for what like a year before they replaced it with Young Justice, you know they are going to cancel young justice and come up with something completely different in like six months right? Why? Because they are assholes and they hate our children and they are trying to destroy their attention spans.”

“Yeah,” said Carly’s blonde friend named Sam, “it is all part of the capitalist oligarchy conspiracy. They do the same thing on our show. They are constantly subtly sexualizing Carly and the rest of us while at the same time having us behave in a childlike fashion to promote the earlier and earlier sexualization of children but at the same time they heavily vilify pedophiles in the media so that people will be afraid of becoming pedophiles and drive them deeper into the pseudo religious capitalist mentality that they love to manipulate.”

Sam looked around at the faces of the people around her. They were all staring at her with their mouths gaping open.

“Fuck you guys,” said Sam, “the capitalist conspiracy is real and you are all in its grip.”

“Listen do you guys want to come back to the Autobot base or what?” asked Optimus Prime.

“We do.” said Rainbow Dash.

At the Autobot base Rainbow Dash explained that she wanted to become a boy to be with her one true love and the Autobots were also moved to almost tears but they decided not to cry because they are robots.

“I’m not sure what we can do to help you become a boy but we will try our best,” said Optimus Prime.

“Why don’t you just have a sex change operation?” asked Freddy and Rainbow Dash slapped him across the face so hard he fell to the ground. Carly quickly rushed to his side.

“Why did you slap my boyfriend?” asked Carly.

“Am I your boyfriend on the show?” asked Freddy. I was never really clear on that. What is the deal with those two anyway?

“I will never have a sex change operation,” said Rainbow Dash as she hovered over them in rage. “I will be pure in my transformation to a boy.”

She turned to the Autobots and said, “I need your help. Use energon to turn me into a boy.”

“How the hell is energon supposed to turn you into a boy?” asked Optimus Prime.

“Bring me a cube of energon and I will chew on it,” demanded Rainbow Dash.

“That’s really not safe,” said an Autobot.

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “I will chew on a block of energon and I will become a boy.”

Just then one of the walls of the Autobot base exploded and Megatron came stomping in followed by his army of robot dogs.

“Where the fuck did you get robot dogs?” said Optimus Prime in anger.

“I ordered them from a catalogue,” said Megatron as he laughed maniacally. Then the iCarly kids caught his eye. Megatron swooped down with his hand and caught all three of the iCarly kids at once. “These little humans are just what I need to complete my experiments.” said Megatron before he flew away.

“Fuck you Megatron,” said Rainbow Dash, “I will hunt you down and reclaim my iCarly kids. They are mine you hear me. MINE.”

Elsewhere in a secret lab, Megatron prepared to experiment on the iCarly kids. He had striped them all naked and bound them with their hands behind their back and their feet so they could not get away.

“You can’t do this,” said Carly, “we’re only kids we can’t be naked in this story.”

“Oh shut up,” said Megatron, “You’re all 18 in real life. I can do whatever I like to you. And I will. I am eager to begin my sexual dark energon experiments. I can already use dark energon to make zombie robots but now I wish to explore the sexual applications of dark energon. I have prepared special dark energon rods and I shall touch your naked bodies with them.”

Carly looked away and tried not to cry. Freddy looked and tried to stay strong for Carly and to endure what was coming. Sam looked Megatron in the eye and said, “You’re an asshole megatron. Why aren’t you dead?”

“I’m only dead in the movies not in the transformers prime universe,” said Megatron, “and apparently I worship Unicron or some shit like that. By the way did anybody else think there was something wrong with the way I died in the movie? I mean did you see what happened. In the second movie Optimus Prime tore the Fallen’s fucking face off. I get it was in the heat of battle and all but still he ripped off his robot face and revealed his robot skull underneath and it killed him. And when he killed me and Sentinel Prime in the last movie I mean we were both defeated and helpless and Optimus Prime just fucking executed us. Didn’t anybody else find that a little disturbing?”

“Megatron I won’t let you touch me friends,” said Sam.

“And how will you stop me?”

“You can have me. Do whatever you want with my body but don’t touch Carly and Freddy?”

“I don’t know I’m not really into blondes.”

“Oh come on I’m a willing test subject. Doesn’t that make your balls tingle or something?”

“Despite what you may have heard from devastator transformers do not have balls,” said Megatron, “god I fucking hate Michael Bay.”

“You and me both,” said Sam, “you know the movies he makes are all about devaluing human life and reinforcing stereotypes that promote social inequality.”

“Yeah assholes like him are on of the biggest tools of the capitalist oligarchy conspiracy,” said Megatron, “the conservatives are always talking about how liberal Hollywood is but when it comes down to it they both bow to the same corporate masters.”

“Megatron agrees with me, see the conspiracy is real,” said Sam excited.

Just then Rainbow Dash smashed a hole in the wall and came face to face with Megatron who had a dark energon rod in his hand.

“I have come to free my friends,” said Rainbow Dash, “you will not molest the iCarly kids who are not really kids anymore but nickelodeon will keep pretending they are as long as their show still makes money.”

“You will never stop me flying pony,” said Megatron, “and you will never be a boy. You will be alone forever.”

“Shut the fuck up,” said Rainbow Dash, “you’re a robot, you don’t have a soul.”

“Fuck you I have a spark,” said Megatron, “it’s like a soul for robots. God you are really rude you know that.”

“Your words will not move me Megatron. I now know your true motives. I know what you have done. I know the dark forces you are in league with.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Megatron getting confused.

“You are in league with my nemesis, CONFUCIUS!!!”

For a moment everyone was stunned.

“Wait a minute, did you say Confucius?” asked Megatron.

“Yes Confucius is my nemesis,” replied Rainbow Dash.

“Confucius is you nemesis?” asked Megatron, “as in The Confucius, the famous ancient Chinese philosopher. He is your nemesis and you think I’m in league with him?”

“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash unmoved in her resolve.

Megatron blinked for a moment then turned to the iCarly kids and asked, “Is this pony high or something? I mean seriously, is she on some kind of mind altering drugs?”

“I don’t know but if she is I need to take a hit of whatever she is smoking,” said Sam.

“Rainbow Dash save us,” Carly called out.

“He wants to test the sexual applications of dark energon on us,” said Freddy.

“Don’t worry my friends,” said Rainbow Dash, “Megatron will not touch your naked young bodies. The only sexual testing will be the testing you do to each other.”

The iCarly kids smiled happily knowing they would soon be rescued.

“I was planning on saving my sexual horse testing for later,” said Megatron, “but I will make an exception for you Rainbow Dash. We will see how the dark energon affects your deranged pony mind.”

Rainbow Dash and Megatron were both poised for battle ready to strike. Then the Autobots walked in through the hole in the wall.

Optimus Prime said, “We are here. We will fight with you to bring and end to Megatron once and for all.”

Rainbow Dash was filled with anger when she turned to the Autobots and shouted, “I told you to wait outside.”

Optimus Prime stood his ground but the other Autobots quickly scrambled away in fear.

“Listen Rainbow Dash I get it you want to take down Megatron by yourself but you should not be doing this alone,” said Optimus Prime, “Now would you please… OH MY GOD, are those teenagers naked? What the hell is wrong with you Megatron? I knew you were an asshole but come on, this is a new low for you.”

“Oh fuck off prime,” said Megatron, “you’ve just been brainwashed by the capitalist plutocracy like everyone else.”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” asked Optimus Prime.

Before anyone else could say anything someone kicked in the door. Suddenly Sam and Dean Winchester came charging in with shotguns in hand ready to fight.

“What are the guys from Supernatural doing here?” asked Optimus Prime.

“It’s probably some shit going on with the angels again,” said Rainbow Dash, “god I am so sick of that story line. If they were going to force the show to stay on the air the least they could have done is come up with a consistent story line instead of all the random crap they’re been throwing around.”

Sam and Dean Winchester began firing their shotguns at Megatron. He was so distracted that he dropped the dark energon rod and it shattered.

“No,” said Megatron, “my dark energon rod has been shattered. I’m going to kill you guys. And by the way your show sucks.”

“Don’t listen to Megatron,” said Rainbow Dash, “he’s just mad that your show always kills off the hot chicks.”

Rainbow Dash then rushed forward. She head-butted Sam and Dean Winchester so hard that she sent them back to their own dimension. Then she turned around and took a flying leap at Megatron. Rainbow Dash kicked Megatron in the eyes with her hooves.

“Ow god damn it my eyes,” said Megatron as he fell to the ground and writhed in pain.

Rainbow Dash hovered above him and said, “Megatron is defeated. Now quickly untie the ICarly kids. You guys look damn fine when you are naked, you should try it more often.”

“Will you stop saying things like that,” said Carly, “it’s really not appropriate.”

“Aren’t you guys all 18 in real life?” said Optimus Prime, “what’s the big deal?”

Carly was infuriated and said, “Just because I’m 18 that doesn’t mean its okay to strip me naked and tie me up and make lewd comments about it. I’m not asking for everyone to stop thinking of me sexually, I know that’s impossible and unrealistic but at the very least you could keep it to yourself and not parade it around like its something to be proud of. Doesn’t anybody have any common decency or taste anymore?”

“Yeah fuck all you perverts,” said Rainbow Dash, “the world will never accept you so you should just blend in and pretend to be normal.”

“You can’t do that,” said Sam, “that’s exactly what the capitalist conspiracy wants you to do? Shame is one of their favorite tools to control the population and all the repressed sexual tension will just turn them into rapists or serial killers or Fox News correspondents.”

Optimus Prime stepped in to save the day, “okay we get it, you should not make lewd comments to young women about how much you like their breasts and naked bodies but at the same time you can’t just pretend that sexual urges don’t exist. In all things you have to find balance. Everyone can benefit from a little porn in their lives but it is a private matter and if you want to discuss it you should do it in an acceptable setting with people who will not be judgmental of you.”

“I think our work here is done,” said Rainbow Dash triumphantly.

Carly looked around and said, “I don’t know what Megatron did with our clothes. What are we supposed to do?”

Optimus Prime scratched his head and said, “We don’t have any clothes so I guess you will have to wait. Being naked is not so bad. We Autobots are always naked. We don’t have genitalia.”

Optimus Prime turned into a truck and invited the iCarly kids to ride in the back. They were still naked. Rainbow Dash joined them. They enjoyed the ride back to the Autobot base. Back in the Decepticon base Megatron was still in a world of pain and vowed to someday take revenge upon Rainbow Dash.

On the way back to the Autobot base the iCarly kids sat next to each other naked and Rainbow Dash was nearby watching from the window.

“You must be cold Carly,” said Freddy, “would you like me to keep you warm?”

“Oh thank you Freddy,” said Carly.

“So what’s the deal with you guys?” asked Rainbow Dash, “are you guys like dating or something on the show? I never understood that.”

Freddy answered, “its one of those things where I’m in love with Carly but she just wants to be friends but I stick around anyway in the hope that someday she will love me back but she keeps dating other guys, you know cliché crap like that.”

“God I hate that kind of bullshit,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah it gets old really fast,” said Freddy, “I’m hoping Carly will go through a slutty phase at some point so I can slip in and get some action.”

“I’m sitting right here,” said Carly, “I can hear everything you say.”

“So let me get this straight,” said Rainbow Dash, “you are in love with Carly and Carly knows that you are in love with her so she strings you along so you will keep filming and editing her web show. Wow Carly that is a really shitty thing to do to another person.”

“I kind of agree,” said Carly, “but hey it pays the bills.”

“I think you and Freddie should fuck,” said Rainbow Dash.

Freddy and Carly looked at each other.

“What do you say Carly?” Freddy asked, “I’m ready if you are.”

“Well we are both 18 in real life now,” said Carly, “but can we really do it like this? With Sam and Rainbow Dash watching and while we are riding in Optimus Prime?”

“Don’t mind me,” said Sam, “I’ve seen it all before and besides it really is about time you paid Freddie back for being such a cock-tease to him for so many years.”

“I disagree,” said Optimus Prime, “If you are going to have sex it should be because you want to, not as repayment for years of cock-blocking, no girl is ever obligated to have sex with any boy. As for doing it while you are riding in me feel free to go ahead with it. Lots of people have fucked inside me before. Wow that sounds really weird when I say it like that. The point is I don’t mind it. There is actually an interesting story behind that. I should tell it to you guys sometime.”

“Get on with the fucking,” shouted Rainbow Dash.

“Okay I’m ready now Freddy,” said Carly.

And so for the rest of the trip Carly and Freddy had sex while Sam and Rainbow Dash watched and Optimus Prime just listened because he had to keep his eyes on the road.

Back at the Autobot base Optimus Prime said, “Thank you Freddy and Carly for not making a big mess while you were having sex. The last time I let humans have sex inside me they used way too much lube and it left a big mess.”

All of the other Autobots stared at Optimus Prime speechless.

“Oh fuck you guys,” said Optimus Prime, “Like none of you have ever had humans fucking inside you before.”

The other Autobots were still speechless.

“Don’t you guys have work to do somewhere,” said Optimus Prime. He was really getting pissed off now.

“Can we get some clothes now?” asked Carly.

“I will return you to your own dimension,” said Rainbow Dash.

“But Rainbow Dash you are still a girl,” said Carly, “we still need to help you become a boy.”

“You already have,” said Rainbow Dash with a smile.

Rainbow Dash rose above the ground and was surrounded by light. When the light faded Rainbow Dash had become a boy. As a boy Rainbow Dash had male pony genitals and bigger more defined muscles.

“Look upon me all of you,” said Rainbow Dash in his new manly voice, “I am a boy now. I have attained powers beyond your comprehension.”

“How the fuck did that happen?” said Optimus Prime totally confused.

“This story has gone on long enough and we are stuck for an ending,” said Rainbow Dash.

“You did it Rainbow Dash,” said the iCarly kids.

“It never would have been possible without you,” said Rainbow Dash.

Then suddenly Rainbow Dash spit. The spit moved with such speed and power it tore a hole in the fabric of reality and opened a gateway back to the iCarly universe.

“Return to your home now and get some clothes on,” said Rainbow Dash, “you have earned your reward.”

The iCarly kids went back to their own world. Before the gateway closed they could all be heard yelling, “Down with the capitalist plutocracy!”

Optimus Prime looked at Rainbow Dash and asked, “Did you just turn the iCarly kids into communists?”

“No I would say they are probably leaning more towards anarchy,” said Rainbow Dash, “well I must return to Ponyland to be with my one true love.”

“I thought the place you are from was called Equestria,” said Optimus Prime.

“Fuck you,” said Rainbow Dash, “I am from Ponyland and don’t you forget it. And by the way keep an eye out for Confucius you never know when he will show his face again.”

Rainbow Dash zoomed off back to her own universe.

“Maybe that pony was high,” said Optimus Prime, “or maybe I am high? I don’t remember taking a lot of drugs today.”

Back in Ponyland Fluttershy was attending her garden when Rainbow Dash came swooping down.

“Look at me Fluttershy,” said Rainbow Dash, “I have become a boy so I can be with you my one true love.”

“I’m your one true love,” said Fluttershy amazed, “Do you really mean it?”

“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash, “Twilight Sparkle and Rarity are lesbians, Pinkie Pie is an annoying bitch and Applejack just sucks. You are the only one I could ever truly love Fluttershy. Now come with me so I can make sweet love to you.”

“Oh I can’t wait,” said Fluttershy.

And so Rainbow Dash made sweet pony love to Fluttershy and they had many pony children. Then one day Fluttershy began to wonder how it was possible for them to have children.

“How is it possible for us to have so many pony children?” said Fluttershy, “I don’t think that’s how sex changes work.”

“It wasn’t just a sex change,” said Rainbow Dash, “It was the power of love. Now come here so I can make more sweet pony love with you.”

“Oh yes Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy.

And they all lived happily ever after.



The end motherfucker.

Girl Story

I remember my father was smiling just before the arrow pierced his neck. He was a dark skinned man with long hair and a full beard. He was smiling and talking with my mother. She was a beautiful woman of far eastern descent. We were on our way to a new home. Our people had been nomads for a long time but it was decided that we should find a new way to live in the ever changing world of Rith. My father was a great warrior who was respected by many. Some expected him to become some kind of official leader once our new home was properly established. My father and the men we traveled with were all great warriors. It was tradition for the warriors to follow from the rear to protect the people. In this way we would be the last ones to make the pilgrimage to our new home. My mother insisted on keeping our family together always. My brother was still very little, barely more than a baby. I was still very young too. We were riding in the caravan cart and father was on his horse just ahead of us. He was turning around to smile at us and he was just about to say something.


I remember seeing the arrow tip sticking out of one side of his neck and how the blood came spraying out around it. I didn’t scream. Mother didn’t scream. My little brother Shawn was asleep. Most of the other warriors barely had time to draw their swords before a barrage of arrows came at them. They almost all fell at once. The horses pulling the cart got spooked and stopped. Our attackers came out of the woods and surrounded us. Only one of our warriors was still alive. He forced himself to his feet even with two arrows in his guts. The attackers laughed at him. He cut off ones head and ran another through. They finished him quickly after that. My mother told me to stay with Shawn, to hold onto him and stay in the cart no matter what. The men who attacked us demanded she come out. They were raiders looking to make a profit. They were already going through the pockets of the men they had killed. They were even seeing what they could take from their two fallen comrades. My mother begged them to show mercy. She begged them to leave me and my brother alone. She said she would do anything. The one in charge mocked her saying she would do anything anyway. She was their property now and so were her children. He said he would enjoy breaking her in. My mother was a beautiful woman. She was dressed in lovely pink silk. She sobbed and bowed to him. He came closer grinning like some kind of idiot. The expression on his face did not have time to change before she had taken his own sword from its sheath and cut his throat with it. She did not even wait for the body to fall to the ground before she went to work killing the others. By the time they realized what was happening five of them were dead. They drew their swords and tried to attack but it was too late for that. Now they were the ones being ambushed. They were the ones defending themselves from attack. I saw my mother move with grace and precision. My father was a great warrior but so was my mother. I had never seen her more beautiful than she was in that moment as she took revenge upon the men that killed her husband. It seemed like she was invincible. Then one of them came at her from behind. He put the sword into her back up to the hilt. She knocked him off and killed him. She kept on fighting even with the blade sticking out through her stomach. And then it was over. Her enemies were dead. She took a few steps then fell down. In all that time she only let out a single cry of pain as she pulled herself next to my father’s body. She put her arms around him. His hand moved. He was still alive. He put an arm around her then he went limp. I don’t know how long I sat there looking at my dead parents. I felt like screaming but no sound came out when I opened my mouth. The world was silent for a long time. Suddenly Shawn was awake and he was crying. I started to cry with him. It had already been getting dark and night soon fell. I stayed in the cart like my mother said and held onto Shawn. At some point in the night people from the settlement came looking for us. They took me and Shawn to our new home. The next day they buried my mother and father and the other fallen warriors. At the funeral they told a story. It was a story that would spread and be told over and over again by many for years to come. It was also completely made up. They told a story of how my father had died taking revenge for the murder of his wife and his men. I tried to tell them what really happened. I told them my father had been the first to go down, that my mother had been the one that saved us. But I was just a child and no one listened. They assumed I was just confused due to grief over losing my parents. After a while I stopped trying to explain the truth because I came to understand that was not what they wanted. They just wanted a story to tell and for some reason they decided the hero had to be a man. But the truth is sometimes the hero is not always who people expect.

My name is Katarina. This is my story.



Part 1

Katarina climbed the same tree at the same time every day. It was a perfect concealed spot where she could sit and watch and not be noticed. No one else knew about it. From her spot in the tree Katarina could see the training court for the town dojo. The weapons master was training Shawn in swords again. Katarina wondered why he bothered. Shawn did not like sword play and he was much more skilled in other areas. He had a great arm for small thrown weapons and archery and he was skilled with pole-arms. But the weapons master insisted that Shawn become proficient with all weapons, he was the son of a famous warrior after all. Katarina stayed in the tree out of sight and observed the lesson. When it was over she climbed down and found a sufficiently long stick. She practiced the moves the weapon master had tried to teach Shawn. Katarina gave up on getting the teachers at the dojo to take her on as a student a long time ago. They did not think it was proper for a girl to learn about fighting. So Katarina was content to teach herself based on her observations.

Katarina and Shawn had the same light brown skin color. They both had the same dark brown eye color. They both had long dark hair. Shawn always had his hair in a traditional warrior’s pony tail. Katarina sometimes braided her hair, sometimes not. Every once in a while someone mistook them for twins but Katarina always informed them that she was two years older than her brother. Shawn was younger but he was slightly taller than his sister.

Shawn was very popular. Other boys looked up to him not just as the son of a great hero but as the best student at the dojo and occasionally went to him for advice on how to improve. He was a handsome boy and many girls sought his attention.

Katarina was not very popular. Most people considered her a trouble maker. Other girls had tried to be her friend but Katarina was never interested in the things they were interested and they would give up before long. The boys in town like to look at Katarina, she was a lovely girl, but none of them wanted to have to listen to her strange ideas about the world and the people in it.

Shawn and Katarina lived at the local commune house. They were looked after by the house manager. Katarina had a talent for growing and tending to herbs and earned her way managing the house gardens. Shawn earned his way by being the son of a great fallen hero and training to be a member of the local guard, perhaps even to lead it one day.

They lived on the second floor and each had their own room. Shawn was in Katarina’s room spinning back and forth in her rotating chair.

“This is a neat chair,” said Shawn, “Who made it for you?”

“Uh it was Darryl, the boy who works at the wood shop,” she replied. Katarina was trying to read the latest news-scroll. They were printed monthly and delivered all the way from New Midnight City.

“You’re not into him are you?” asked Shawn.

“What? No? He just made it for me because…” she paused not wanting to finish the thought.

“He made it for you because he thinks you’re pretty and he wants to impress you,” said Shawn, “you know it’s not a crime to admit that guys do things for you because of the way you look. Girls are always trying to bring me stuff, mostly baked goods. What’s up with that anyway? I mean I like baked goods but why is that like the go to thing for girls that want to impress a guy? Anyway Darryl’s not so bad but still I hope you never get together with anyone in this town. That would be too weird.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying, I mean I’m friends with most of the guys around here but even I know that half of them are stupid dirt bags. Oh god that’s a terrible thought I just had. A lot of the girls in this town are going to marry some of these idiots some day. That is really sad.”

“Shawn did you want something?” Katarina asked.

“Now that you mention it,” said Shawn, “I was thinking about something. I’m fourteen now and you’re sixteen. In about a year I’ll be fifteen and old enough to begin a courtship. You’re already old enough to begin a courtship. Have you given any thought to that?”

“Why would I? And why does everyone seem to think a courtship has to lead to marriage? You know I’ve been reading that in some places some women don’t get married until their thirties, some later than that.”

“Hey I didn’t say anything about marriage. I was just saying that there are options beyond this town.”

Katarina knew when her brother was up to something and asked, “What did you do Shawn?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

Katarina stared him down but he did not crack. It took a moment before it dawned on her.

“Oh you did not,” said Katarina.

Shawn remained stone faced.

“You contacted a match maker didn’t you?”

For a long time Shawn said nothing then casually said, “Maybe.”

“Why would you do that?” Katarina was not happy.

“Believe it or not I did this more for me than for you,” said Shawn.

“Wait what?”

“A match maker won’t take my case until I’m fifteen so I had to say it was for my sister in the letter. I said you were looking for a match somewhere beyond our local area. So if the match maker does come up with something you would have to travel a little for the meeting. And if you had to travel it would be understandable if your big brother came along to watch over you.”

“You’re my little brother Shawn.”

“Not according to the metric system.”

“Since when do you want to travel?” she asked, “what is this really about?”

Shawn took a moment then said, “I need to get out of here Katarina. I don’t want to be the son of a great fallen hero the rest of my life. I want to be myself and I can’t do that if I stay in this town. Our father was a great hero and I know our mother was too and I want to live up to that legacy. But I want to do it on my terms.”

Katarina did not like the town they lived in. She had never been happy there. It had never occurred to her that Shawn was not either. However isolated she was Katarina had always been free to be herself. She did not realize that Shawn had been denied that. The house manager soon announced that dinner was ready. Everyone made their way downstairs to the dining hall.

That night Katarina looked over the news scroll by candlelight. If she and Shawn did leave where would they go? She had always wanted to go to New Midnight City and see the electric lights that lined the streets. But what would they do once they got there. Did they have herb gardens in big cities like that? She wondered if they accepted teenagers into the city guard. She looked at the featured news at the top again. She had only glanced at it earlier. The Order of the Divine Palm was conducting a worldwide search. For the Antalla? The story of the Antalla sounded like a fairy tale to Katarina but she knew a lot of people still believed in it. Into every generation the Antalla is reborn. The Antalla a great warrior who defends humanity from darkness. The Antalla who brought an end to the horrific Age of Beasts and restored humanity’s rule over the surface of the world. The Divine Orders were conducting tests on young men everywhere in their search for the new Antalla. Of course they were only testing men. Katarina rolled up the scroll and put it with the others in a box under her bed.

Before she drifted to sleep Katarina imagined things. She imagined that her mother had been the reborn Antalla that perhaps many of the past Antallas had been great women and would yet be again. She remembered her mother and father. She remembered her mother’s graceful movements. She remembered the way her father smiled with all of his teeth. Then the image of a bloody arrow sticking out her father’s neck invaded her mind. She opened her eyes suddenly alert again. She tried to close her eyes and sleep. She saw the blade of a sword emerge from her mother’s stomach after piercing her from behind. Katarina spent a long time that night sitting up with her hands covering her face.



Katarina was more than willing to work with Shawn on a plan to leave town and start new someplace else but she was not on board with his plan to commit fraud against a match maker. Besides he soon got a response letter back and discovered he could not afford the fee. There was an option to trade goods such as food and materials for the match maker’s services but Katarina and Shawn did not have a lot of those at their disposal either. Shawn had a few other ideas, most of which consisted of something that could potentially be considered a small crime.

A few times a month traveling tradesmen would come through town. The most recent ones brought interesting news. Monks from the Order of the Divine Palm would be coming to town soon. They were looking everywhere for the Antalla excluding no one. It was common knowledge the town was home to a respected dojo. The town dojo was not as fancy as the ones for more affluent communities but it had turned out many fine guardsmen over the years. Shawn did not give the news much more thought than Katarina. He felt much the same way about the Antalla. Maybe the great warrior had been real long ago but he was probably long dead and most of the stories of him were merely myth.



Far away in New Midnight City something was hunting. There was a creature with pale skin and sharp teeth feeding in an alleyway. It chomped away on a dead rat it had found. The creature finished eating but it still hungered for a more substantial meal. The creature was a type of thing known as a ghoul. Before the ghoul had a chance to make preparations for the meal it desired the hunter found it.

The hunter wore a masked helmet. The hunter had long hair and wore an outfit that made it hard to tell if it was a man or a woman. It had knee high black boots with a fine vest and jacket and riding pants. The hunter stood with one hand behind the back and the other hand in front gripping an exquisitely crafted rapier sword. The hunter spoke with a certainly female voice, “you know in the old days I would travel the world fighting against evil wherever I could find it. These days world travel is not as practical or convenient as it once was. I can’t be there to keep the whole world safe so I have to settle for just this one city. This is my city. You are not welcome here.”

The ghoul panicked and said, “I have done nothing wrong. I only eat the dead. I do not prey on the living. What quarrel do you have with me?”

“Yes I know very well that ghouls only eat the dead. However you have been cheating. Your kind is supposed to forage for their food in graveyards. I know what you have been doing. You have killed three people in the last few months. You killed them then hid there bodies away so they could rot and become ready for you to eat. You have committed unnatural acts of evil in my city and now its time to pay the price.”

The ghoul tried to run down the alley away from her. There was a rush of air and she was in front of the creature. In fear and rage it leaped up at her with teeth ready to bite and kill. A moment later the ghoul was on the ground bleeding and the hunter was wiping thick dark blood off her sword. The ghoul knew it was about to die. It used its final breath to taunt, to let loose a secret it no longer cared to keep.

“They are coming for you. All of your enemies are gathering and they will slaughter you.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” she said, “I don’t know what makes them think they will win this time.”

“They will find him first.”

“Find who first?”

“The divine orders will find him for us and we will use his blood to destroy you. The fools have no idea they are being watched.”

“The divine orders? What are you…” then she understood what the ghoul was talking about, “Damn it, they are going to… What else do you know? Tell me you monster.”

“You are the monster,” the ghoul coughed, “you are a greater monster than any of us, Antalla.”

The ghoul was dead. The hunter, the Antalla looked down at her kill. She thought about the ghoul’s final words and said, “Me? The greatest monster of all? Well I thought that was fairly obvious.”

The Antalla saw a discarded news scroll in a puddle. She saw the headline story about the search for the reborn Antalla that the Divine Orders were conducting. If she was correct about what her enemies were planning then she would have to act quickly to stop them. And she was probably going to have to do some traveling.



The monks of the Divine Palm arrived in a small caravan. They had two large and expensive looking carriages along with a large covered supply wagon. Everyone in town was full of excitement and wonder. The monks started by conducting short interviews with all of the students at the dojo. Afterwards Shawn told Katarina about it. They showed him ink stains on paper and asked him what kind of shapes he saw. They asked him to meditate. They asked him to try on a ring. Overall Shawn found the whole thing rather amusing.

The next day the monks observed the boys at weapons practice. Shawn demonstrated his superior skills in spear throwing among other things. Katarina did her best to stay out of it. She did not believe in the Antalla. At least not the Antalla the monks preached about and now searched for. She preferred to believe in the Antalla she dreamed of. That evening Katarina was alone in the house in her room as she often ended up being. As soon as Shawn came in she could tell something was wrong.

“They want me to go with them,” said Shawn, “They said I passed the tests. They say I could be the Antalla reincarnated. They want to take me to the Temple of the Divine Palm so they can perform other tests and rituals to be sure.”

At first Katarina did not move and neither did Shawn.

“Seriously?” said Katarina, “they really said all that. You’re not messing with me are you?”

Shawn ignored Katarina’s question and said, “This is our chance, Katarina. I don’t know if I’m the Antalla or what. I’m not sure if I even really believe in this reincarnation stuff. But they still want me to come anyway. They said even if I’m not the Antalla I have potential. Katarina, they said they can teach me magic.”

Magic. Everyone knew about magic. There was common sleight of hand and illusion. Then there was the real thing. Most people could go their wholes lives without seeing any real magic. Magic was something only the Divine Orders practiced in this part of the world. There were stories that overseas there were great kings who wielded magic and fought monsters.

“This is what we’ve been waiting for,” said Shawn, “So what do you think?”

Katarina took a moment to look around her room. She felt no great attachment to any of the objects around her. This place had never really been home, it was just a house they happened to live in. There was really nothing to hold them here. But there was something to consider.

“Are they willing to do that?” asked Katarina, “Are they willing to take me along too? You’re the one they want Shawn.”

“Yeah I mentioned that I have a sister and they said something about saying my goodbyes,” said Shawn, “But I think I know a way around that. They are leaving in two days. I think we should get ready.”



There was much celebration in town about Shawn being selected as one of the candidates for the reincarnated Antalla. When the day came to leave with the monks Shawn was ready with what belongings he had, and so was Katarina. The monk in charge was called Brother Sergei. He was a portly man with a bowl cut and a little chin beard. He was surprised to see Katarina.

“Shawn I understand that you want to look after your little sister…“ Sergei began.

Katarina interrupted, “I’m his older sister. I’m two years older than him.”

“We talked about this Shawn,” Sergei continued, “This is your journey. You must leave your old life behind.”

“I could do that,” said Shawn, “Or my sister can come with us. Come on it’s not that big of a deal. I really don’t want to have to give you an ultimatum here. It would be kind of embarrassing if you left here without me. I mean how are the superior monks, or whatever the term for them is, going to react when you tell them that you may have lost the one true Antalla just because of some rule or another about… What was your reasoning behind me leaving my sister behind anyway?”

“Just let me in the stupid carriage,” said Katarina.

Brother Sergei stood there dumfounded for a moment then stepped aside and welcomed Katarina and Shawn together.

“That was a terrible plan,” said Katarina.

“But it worked,” said Shawn, “sort of.”



The journey to the Temple of the Divine Palm was uneventful. The monks tried to teach Shawn some of the basics of magic use but he seemed to have no affinity for it. Katarina listened in and observed and tried to mimic the lessons but it seemed she did not have any affinity for magic either.

The Temple of the Divine Palm looked more like a fortress from the outside. It was surrounded by a high stone wall. The front gate was a huge set of wooden doors under an arch. Inside the walls the temple was breathtaking. The buildings within were painted mostly blue with some green and yellow trim. The monks wore blue and white robes. The women wore purple. Katarina had heard of them, the Maidens of the Hand, women who served the Divine Orders. She had never liked the sound of that. But then she saw something she had not expected. She saw a number of the maidens doing what looked like some kind of martial arts practice. They were all performing the same moves. Katarina wished to learn more about it.

They exited the carriages and were greeted by the High Brothers named Chad, Diego and Yorrick. They were a little surprised to see Katarina but shrugged it off and went on with their inspection of Shawn.

“You are the first candidate to arrive,” said High Brother Yorrick.

“The other two should bee here in the next day or two,” said High Brother Chad.

“Then we can truly begin,” said High Brother Diego.

Shawn may not have fully believed in the story of the Antalla but he was clearly enjoying himself. Whatever other feelings he had, Shawn had always enjoyed getting attention. No one was paying attention to her so Katarina discreetly moved away to have a look around. A moment later she was greeted by a woman, one of the Maidens of the Hand. The woman was probably in her thirties.

“Welcome to the Temple of the Divine Palm,” she said, “I am High Sister Daphne. You must be Katarina.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Brother Sergei told me about you just a moment ago. So I take it you are interested in learning more about the Maidens of the Hand and life here in the temple.”

“Uh yes actually,” said Katarina, “I saw some women doing martial arts when we came in.”

“Oh that was dance practice,” said High Sister Daphne, “We Maidens of the Hand learn many different arts. Today they are practicing the flower dance. Many of the maneuvers we use bear a resemblance to martial arts. Some believe that the practice of dance can actually improve a warriors fighting style. In much the same way we learn the arts of writing and painting which can help enhance weapon mastery. We may not learn all of the same things the men do but in many ways they learn from us.”

Some of what High Sister Daphne said did not sound quite right to Katarina but some of it also intrigued her. The woman took Katarina to the maidens’ quarters. The room was easily the size of her old room and Shawn’s and most of the second floor of the house they had just left combined. Katarina was not sure she wanted to join the Maidens of the Hand but she thought she might as well try it out a little first. High Sister Daphne helped her try on the purple garments. Once she had them on the woman took her to a full length mirror. Katarina had never had a mirror of her own let alone a full length one. This one was twice the size of the one on the washroom wall that everyone shared back at the commune house.

The Maiden of the Hand garments were not something Katarina was used to wearing. Normally Katarina just wore a simple woman’s tunic and leggings. The purple garments of the maidens consisted of two parts. First there was a sarong skirt that left at least one leg mostly bare. Then there was a small top with sleeves that tied in the front leaving her midsection revealed. Katarina was not used to having this much of her body revealed.

“Is something wrong?” asked High Sister Daphne.

“Well it’s just… I’ve never really dressed like this before,” said Katarina, “In the town where we lived there were girls who wore dresses, some shorter than others and some that showed off more cleavage than others. But I was never really the dress type. Not that this is a dress really. It’s very nice but… I don’t know if…”

Katarina was not sure exactly what to say.

High Sister Daphne stood next to Katarina looking into the mirror with her and said, “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You are a lovely girl Katarina and you have a very nice figure.”

“That’s really not what I’m trying to get at,” said Katarina.

“Are you worried about men looking at you? You should not worry because that is all they can do. They can look but nothing more. And if any of them try to do more than look you are free to give them a good slap.”

Katarina found herself smiling at the last remark.

“And you have a very nice smile,” said the high sister, “Part of what we do here is learn to master the power of our bodies. We may not be built to be warriors like the men but there are still many ways we can excel.”

Katarina remembered her mother. Being a woman had not prevented her from learning how to fight. If anything her female form had only improved her combat style. Katarina had an idea. She thought about the dancing. She thought about what the high sister had said about the similarity of dance and martial arts. Katarina decided that a long as she was here she would learn what she could from the Maidens of the Hand.

“Now lets put some makeup on you,” said High Sister Daphne.

“What?” said Katarina. She had always thought of makeup as something only rich girls put on. But then again the Order of the Divine Palm seemed to do very well for their selves.



In the evening there was a feast to celebrate the arrival of the first Antalla candidate. Katarina and Shawn only ever saw this much food in their old home when the entire town was gathered for a holiday celebration. Shawn was surprised when he saw Katarina.

“What happened?” he said, “You look all… girl like, more so than usual.”

“Good to see you too little brother,” she replied.



Katarina spent the next day among the Maidens of the Hand. She took part in their practice of different arts and small crafting. She learned about some of the dances they preformed and learned some of the moves.

When night came Katarina snuck out of her room and made her way to the weapons training courtyard. It was much bigger than the one at the old dojo. And it had real weapons. Katarina went to the sword rack and drew out a weapon. It was much different than practicing with sticks in the woods. A sword is a thin and deadly piece of metal and Katarina found they could be much heavier than they looked. She put the sword back and picked a smaller lighter one. She held it for a bit with one hand then two letting her self get used to the weight and feel of it. Then she began to practice. She tried some of the moves she learned observing Shawn’s lessons. She got a better feel for how the moves worked feeling how the weight of the blade added to the strikes. She did this for a time. Then she tried some other moves. These were not moves she had seen anyone else do. These were moves she had invented on her own combining sword technique with the dance moves she had learned. Some of the improvised moves worked better than others. As Katarina got more comfortable with the moves she started doing them faster. For the first time in a long time Katarina was truly enjoying her self. Then she noticed she was not alone.

There was a fat old man with a bushy gray beard watching. He just stood there with a broom in hand. Katarina recognized him. Someone had said he was the head groundskeeper but she could not recall anyone mentioning his name. He set down the broom and took a sword from the rack. Katarina was not sure what to do as he approached. The issue was decided when he attacked. Katarina defended. He kept coming at her. She continued to fight back. This old bearded groundskeeper was no amateur with a sword. Katarina tried to go on the offensive. She began using her new moves. She made a few close strikes but the moves were still unrefined and did not give her enough of an edge. The old man was smiling. Then he was laughing and lowering his sword.

“You are a natural young lady,” he said, “sorry to interrupt. I just had to satisfy my curiosity.”

He laughed and walked away putting the sword back in the rack. Katarina almost asked him to come back. She wanted to ask where he learned swordplay. She wanted to ask his name. But it was too late. He was gone.



There was a lot of excitement when the other two Antalla candidates arrived at almost the same time in the morning. The first one looked like he was around the same age as Katarina and Shawn. They said his name was Zachariah. He wore expensive looking red and yellow martial arts robes. He had white skin and long dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. The other candidate was a boy named Andrew. He looked much younger and was much shorter than the others. He wore plain brown and yellow robes. Andrew had a shaved head and a tattoo on his forehead of a triangle with an eye in the middle.

Shawn tried to greet his fellow candidates. Zachariah looked him up and down briefly then walked away without shaking his hand. Andrew was much friendlier. He immediately took Shawn’s handshake and began chatting away. Katarina stuck to her lessons with the Maidens of the Hand. Shawn and the other two boys were kept busy with the various rituals and tests of the High Brothers.



That night Katarina made her way to the weapons training courtyard again. She kept an eye out for the groundskeeper but could not find him. Alone with only a little basic torch light Katarina went about her sword practice. She was free to imagine herself a great warrior like her mother and father. She let herself get lost in the motion of combat. And then she was pulled away from it when she saw the boy named Andrew standing there watching her. Katarina was startled by him and dropped the sword. The sound of metal hitting ground made her cringe. When no one came to investigate the noise she carefully picked the sword up and put it back on the rack.

“Are you finished already?” asked Andrew.

“What do you mean?” said Katarina.

“Are you already finished with your sword practice? You were not at it for very long. And why are you doing it alone at night?”

Katarina took a moment not sure if the boy was serious.

“No one else knows I’m out here,” said Katarina, “swordplay is not something they like to teach girls around here.”

“Oh I get it,” said Andrew, “I wasn’t sure if the Maidens of the Hand learned that sort of thing around here. The maidens function differently within each of the orders.”

“Do you know a lot about them?”

“I know about the Order of the Divine Eye but not much about the others. The Five Divine Orders are not as unified as most people think. They mostly defer to the Divine Palm because they have the most money and influence. As for the maidens, in the Divine Eye they function pretty much as equals to the monks of the eye. The girls learn magic alongside the boys. I know it’s not the same with most of the other orders but I don’t have a lot of first hand knowledge beyond that.”

Katarina wondered about something else, “How did you get in here without me noticing?”

“I can fly,” said Andrew.

“You can fly? Okay that’s a little cleverer than some other responses but come on. Is it some kind of special technique? I doubt you can turn invisible.”

Andrew smiled and closed his eyes. The tattoo on his forehead began to glow purple. Andrew raised his head to the sky and opened his eyes and he shot into the air. He made a few circles around the interior of the courtyard then came down for a landing. He slid on his feet across the floor until he was next to Katarina.

“How did you do that?” said Katarina with excitement.

“It was magic,” said Andrew, “I’ve been learning it my whole life.”

Katarina and Andrew began talking. Andrew was an orphan raised by the Order of the Divine Eye. He was twelve years old but he was aware that he looked younger because of his size. He was hoping to have a growth spurt soon. Andrew had a great affinity for magic and had skill with it beyond even the High Monks of the Eye. In turn Katarina told Andrew about herself. She told him about her life in the town she had come from. She talked about her mother and father and about Shawn. She talked about how she had been teaching herself to fight for years.

“Have you ever actually practiced with someone else?” asked Andrew.

“Not until the other night when the groundskeeper came at me with a sword for no reason,” said Katarina, “and he knew what he was doing? I think he was testing me or something. I don’t even know his name.”

“His name is Hector,” said Andrew, “He actually used to be a bounty hunter. He was one of the best. He specialized in bringing down fugitives that were wanted dead. He’s a master swordsman. When he retired he took a job here as head groundskeeper.”

“Seriously?” said Katarina wondering just a little if Andrew was making it all up.

“Yeah I was just talking to him,” said Andrew, “he told me you would be out here. I think he could sense that you needed someone to talk to and I’m probably the only person that would understand.”

On that night Katarina and Andrew became friends.



The tests they put Shawn, Andrew and Zachariah through were strange short little things. Sometimes they seemed pointless but the monks always treated each one as a great revelation. Finally they began testing the boys in the weapons courtyard. Shawn demonstrated his skills in archery and throwing. They only briefly tested his skill with other weapons. Katarina was impressed when she saw Andrew’s skill with a spear. It was a bit odd seeing such a small boy wielding such long weapon. Zachariah was an excellent swordsman and hand to hand fighter. Katarina found herself noticing him a bit more. He was a handsome boy. She had heard that he was sixteen. Zachariah did not really talk to anyone even his fellow candidates. Katarina wondered why. Before the day was over she would have an answer.

It started when Shawn tried to talk to Zachariah.

“You’re pretty good with a sword,” said Shawn, “I wish I was that good. My old teacher was always trying to drill sword technique into me.”

“You have to have a feel for the blade,” said Zachariah, “you can’t just treat it as a tool. It can become like a part of you if you have the will to use it. You clearly lack that will.”

“What?” said Shawn, “what will?”

“You are very good with a bow and arrow. Tell me have you ever actually killed anything with that weapon? My guess would be not.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You may be able to fight but you are not a true warrior. I’m surprised you made it this far. More surprising is what I hear about who your father was. It seems we can’t all take after our parents.”

Shawn felt his body temperature rise and said, “you take that back.”

“Why would I take back something that’s true?” said Zachariah, “if you feel I have insulted your honor there are ways to settle it.”

Shawn looked at the sword in Zachariah’s hand and hesitated.

“Oh I won’t fight you with this,” said Zachariah as he put the sword back on a rack, “you wouldn’t stand a chance against me with sword. We can do this with fist and foot.”

Katarina asked one of the monks supervising to do something. The monk said it was best to let boys resolve their differences in their own way.

Andrew stepped in and said, “Hey guys I don’t think we are supposed to be fighting each other here.”

“No one asked for your opinion kid,” said Zachariah.

“Well you’re going to get it anyway,” retorted Andrew, “besides if I waited for people to ask for my opinion I would never get to say anything.”

“Stay out of this Andrew,” shouted Shawn, “please.”

Andrew scowled at them both and walked away to Katarina’s side.

“Why must some guys be such morons?” said Andrew, “Does your brother know what he’s doing? Because this could end badly for him.”

“I don’t know,” said Katarina, “no ones ever insulted Shawn like that before.”

From the very beginning it was clear that Zachariah was the superior hand to hand fighter. Shawn’s rage gave him a slight edge at first but it quickly turned into a liability and he was on the ground. Shawn got back up and went at Zachariah again. He was knocked down again and this time he did not feel like getting back up.

“So much for being the son of a great warrior,” said Zachariah, “it seems you inherited you fighting skill from your mother.”

As soon as she heard that Katarina started walking out into the courtyard. Andrew tried to call to her but she was not listening.

“Don’t you dare talk about our parents that way,” said Katarina.

Zachariah looked at her bewildered and said, “Who are you? Wait let me guess. Sister right? I heard he had a sister. And I can see the family resemblance in your clearly similar intelligence level. You really think coming out here to shout at me is going to change anything. Well at least you are not lacking in the looks department.”

Katarina moved her body into a fighting stance that everyone recognized. The monks supervising were so shocked they did not know what to do. Shawn looked up at his sister not believing what he was seeing. A smile crept onto Andrew’s face. Zachariah looked her up and down and said, “Are you kidding me?”

“Are you afraid to fight a girl?” said Katarina.

“Really?” said Zachariah, “You think you can insult my pride and get me to fight you? You know what, fine, what the hell? You are obviously not smart enough to take no for an answer. I’ll make this quick. And don’t worry I won’t do any real damage. You are very nice to look at after all and…”

Katarina did not wait for Zachariah to prepare. She just threw a punch at him. He dodged it but more blows were incoming. Zachariah found himself on the defensive, something he was not ready for. Shawn looked up at his sister and recognized what he was seeing. Everyone recognized it. Katarina was using the same fighting style as Shawn, only she was doing it better. Then they noticed something different. They saw Katarina was fluidly integrating the dance moves the Maidens of the Hand practiced into her movements. Zachariah tried to get the upper hand. He managed to take a more offensive stance but he was still barely keeping up with Katarina. Zachariah began to feel something he never had before while fighting. He was excited.

“Stop this at once,” High Monk Diego shouted with Yorrick and Chad on either side of him.

Zachariah quickly bowed and said, “Forgive me High Monks, this is entirely my fault. I let my emotions get the better of me. I should not have let this situation get out of hand. Please do not condemn anyone else for my actions.”

The High Monks looked around the courtyard at all of the spectators and those involved in whatever had been going on before they arrived.

“Very well then,” said High Monk Chad, “we will end the tests for today. And remember that we do not care for such “roughhousing” within the temple walls.”

The High Monks left and the monks and maidens gathered began to disperse. Katarina looked over at Zachariah. He was sweating and breathing heavy. Why had he taken responsibility like that? And what was that look he was giving her? Katarina ignored it and helped Shawn to his feet. Soon the only ones left were Zachariah and Andrew.

“That girl she… she was…” words failed to express what Zachariah was feeling.

“What is wrong with you?” said Andrew.

“What? There’s nothing… I just… I need some water.”



Shawn just had a few bruises. His physical injuries were not the first thing on his mind.

“How did you do that?” he asked Katarina, “How did you learn to fight like that?”

“You know I used to spy on the lessons in the dojo. I even showed you the tree once.”

“But how did you get to be that good?”

“Maybe I’m just talented.”

“This isn’t funny Katarina,” Shawn said getting ill tempered.

“I never said it was.”

“Can you just leave me alone?” said Shawn, “I don’t need you to look after me. I haven’t for a long time.”

“I know that,” said Katarina, “Just because you had a bad day its no reason to push me away.”

“Just go away please,” he said.

Katarina left feeling frustrated with her brother and his attitude. On her way she was stopped by High Sister Daphne.

“Katarina I wish to speak with you about your conduct today,” said the High Sister, “Why did you attack Zachariah?”

“I didn’t attack him,” said Katarina, “I challenged him. And besides he was being a prick.”

“Katarina your behavior and now your language are not becoming of a Maiden of the Hand,” said the High Sister.

“Oh come on,” said Katarina, “besides I’m not even really one of your maidens anyway. The only reason I’m still dressing like one is because I don’t have anything else to wear because one of your servants took my old clothes to be washed and never brought them back. Do you really think a change of wardrobe is going to make me one of you? The only reason I’m here is because you people have decided that my brother is special and I’m just part of the package or something. Well that’s just fine. I’m used to that. But do me a favor and don’t pretend like I belong here or that any of you actually want me for who I am.”

Katarina stormed off leaving the High Sister alone.



Elsewhere the three High Monks convened in private. High Monk Chad was the oldest and had been slowly losing his hair for years. High Monk Diego and Yorrick had similar haircuts but Diego had a full dark beard while Yorrick was clean shaven and wore glasses.

“That was damn close today,” said Chad, “We can’t afford to wait any longer.”

“You’re right we should make the announcement soon,” said Yorrick.

“And we need to get rid of that girl,” said Diego, “I knew she was going to be a problem.”

“I’m sure we can explain it away,” said Chad, “maybe attribute her skill to them being twins.”

“No they are not twins,” said Yorrick, “I remember she corrected me about it a few days ago. She is older, sixteen I think.”

“Well then maybe we should hire a matchmaker,” said Diego, “if we can get her into a courtship we can send her off. We know plenty of wealthy men with sons looking for a wife.”

“But she is not really a Maiden of the Hand,” said Yorrick, “how would the marriage benefit us?”

“It benefits us because she would be far away from here,” said Chad.

“We can work out the details later,” said Diego.

“Yes right now we need to concentrate on the announcement,” said Yorrick, “how about two days time?”

“Yes that sounds good,” said Chad.

“Very well then we make the announcement in two days,” said Diego.

“We should send out messengers to the other orders tonight,” said Chad, “we want them to be ready.”

“Do you think they will go along with it?” asked Yorrick.

“They have so far, they have no reason to change their minds,” said Chad.

“I got a letter from the Divine Fist,” said Yorrick.

“What does it say?” asked Diego.

“The usual, they are complaining that they are not being involved enough in the selection of the Antalla,” said Yorrick.

“We have spent decades building up the position we now hold,” said Chad, “they can complain after they have done some of their own networking.”



The next two days were a bit awkward. Katarina did not take part in any activities with the Maidens of the Hand and she and Shawn did not talk to each other. Zachariah went back to keeping to himself but once in a while Katarina was sure that he was looking at her. Whenever Andrew had any free time he would go to see Katarina and help her refine her fighting style.

One morning the High Monks called the three boys together for what they said would be the final test. They assured everyone that before the day was over they would know who the true Antalla was.

The final test called for the boys to sit in a room together and meditate while the three High Monks conducted a magical ritual. Zachariah knew how to meditate and believed he was quite good at it. He sat down, closed his eyes and trusted that the High Monks knew what they were doing. Shawn was not sure how to meditate beyond the sitting position which he was not sure if he was doing it right. He had been feeling uneasy ever since his fight with Zachariah and his argument with Katarina after. Shawn did his best to sit still and wait for the test to be over. Andrew was familiar with meditation. It allowed him to better attune with the latent magical energy of the world. Andrew had a great affinity for magic. He could sense what the High Monks were doing and it did not make any sense. They just kept summoning small magical currents then letting them go. As far as Andrew could tell the High Monks were not actually doing anything. If they were not really testing the boys then what was the purpose of the exercise?

A few hours later the three High Monks came out smiling with the three boys. High Brother Chad made the announcement. They had found the reincarnation of the Antalla in not one man but in three. The High Monks explained that Shawn, Andrew and Zachariah shared the soul of Antalla. The soul of the great hero had been split apart and now was reunited to serve the world like never before.

The gathered monks, maidens and employees of the temple cheered. Shawn was smiling. He looked happy. Katarina liked seeing him in a good mood. Zachariah stayed stern and respectful as always. He shook hands with the monks and then with Shawn. Shawn was in such good spirits he seemed to have forgotten about his previous disagreement with Zachariah. Andrew smiled but Katarina could tell it was not genuine. Something was bothering Andrew. And now that she thought about it something was bothering Katarina too. Everything the High Monks had done, it all seemed a little too convenient.



The main hall of the temple was being set up for a grand celebration dinner. There were servants moving all about putting flower arrangement centerpieces on tables and making sure there would be enough chairs.

Katarina was looking for Shawn and found him giving directions on the place settings. He noticed his sister and came over to her. He already seemed different.

“I’m sorry for the way I was acting the other day,” said Shawn, “I shouldn’t have… oh it doesn’t matter now. This is a whole new world now Katarina. We are going to change things for the better. I know this is what I was always meant for. I never would have been able to find my destiny without you. Thank you for always being there. Just a minute I need to help with the arrangements for tonight. I’ll make sure you have a seat near the head table. And then I have to talk to the High Monks. We have lots of plans to make.”

Shawn walked off before Katarina could say a word. She was glad to see he was feeling better but there was too much that seemed wrong. Then she saw Zachariah coming towards her. He didn’t say anything at first. He just stood there looking serious as ever.

“Your brother is taking to his new role very well,” said Zachariah, “It seems I may have underestimated him. He may come from a small town in the country but he is beginning to show some leadership potential.”

So far Katarina had only seen Shawn order a few people about. She was sure leadership required a bit more than that.

“So what are you going to do now?” asked Zachariah.

“What?”

“Are you going to stay here at the temple? I heard you had a disagreement with the High Sister so that might not be an option. But being the sister of one of the reborn Antallas could have advantages. You could travel with your brother when he starts his work. Have you decided what you want to do yet?”

It was a strange thing. Katarina could not remember anyone ever asking her before what she wanted. And now that it was before her she did not have an answer. She knew she wanted to see more of the world. She wanted to travel to New Midnight City and all the other places she read about in news scrolls. But that was just travel. That would take time but not forever. Katarina did not really know what she wanted from life.

“If you decide anything I would be interested to know,” said Zachariah before he strolled off.

Katarina was not sure why Zachariah was acting differently around her now and she was curious to find out why. However she had other things on her mind. She found Andrew alone in the temple library. He looked ill at ease.

“Andrew I’ve been looking for you,” said Katarina, “is something wrong?”

“Yes something is very wrong,” said Andrew, “the High Monks are saying that the three of us share a soul. I don’t think that’s true. In fact I know it isn’t. I know a lot of different kinds of magic. With magic you can sense the energy of life. When a soul is shared between more than one people their life energies will have a sort of resonance with each other. If our three souls are really parts of a whole then our life energy should share a sort of signature that can be detected with magic. Katarina I know this magic and I have used it and I can’t find any common traces among me, Shawn and Zachariah.”

“Are you saying the High Monks made a mistake?” said Katarina.

“No,” said Andrew, “I’m saying they are liars.”

Katarina slowly took a seat at the table across from Andrew.

“Andrew listen to me,” said Katarina, “my brother thinks that this is his destiny. What exactly are you saying? If the Antalla is not in all three of you then who is it?”

Andrew took moment and said, “Katarina I don’t know what the High Monks of the Divine Palm are up to but I am certain they don’t really care about finding the Antalla. I need to find out how much the High Monks of the other orders know about what is going on here. I’m sorry Katarina but if there is one thing I am sure of it is this, I am not the Antalla and neither is Zachariah or your brother.”

Katarina remembered when she was little and she would try to tell people the truth about how her mother and father had died. No one had ever listened. They were always trying to correct her and tell the version of the story they had made up. At times it felt like they were trying to take away the memory of her mother out of some hidden malice. But Katarina had always known the truth and they could not take it no matter how hard they tried. She would always have the true memory of her mother and she took comfort in it, she took strength from it and could endure anything. Now Shawn was so certain of his destiny to be the Antalla. Katarina listened to Andrew’s words and she knew that before long Shawn would have the thing that gave him comfort, confidence and strength taken away.

“Bastards,” she muttered to herself. Then she stood up and almost shouted, “Those rotten bastards. Do they have any idea what they’ve done? When Shawn finds out the truth…”

“Katarina you can’t tell anyone,” said Andrew, “We can’t tell anyone what we know, not yet. The Divine Palm would not be doing this unless they thought they could get away with it. That means they must have people within the other orders helping them. Not to mention the numerous political and economic alliances they have. I know most people think of the Divine Orders as religious institutions but the Divine Palm more than any of the others has taken a more “modern” approach to establishing themselves. Please don’t say anything. I know the monks at the Temple of the Divine Eye. I know which ones can and can’t be trusted. I need to get back there to get help in order to expose the High Monks here and to figure out what they are really after.”

Katarina did not like it but she agreed to go along with Andrew’s plan. In the meantime, they had a banquet to attend.



Shawn, Zachariah and Andrew were seated at the head table with High Monks Chad, Diego and Yorrick. Katarina was seated at the nearest table to the left along with High Sister Daphne and a few other senior Maidens of the Hand. Unbeknownst to them the hunter was watching and waiting for the right moment to make an entrance.

High Monk Diego began making a toast about how bright the new future would be now that the reincarnated Antallas had been found. That is when they all heard the hunter’s voice.

“I have heard many speeches like this before,” the voice had a strange echo to it, slightly distorted so one could not tell if it was male or female, “Men in power love to talk about the future when all they really care about is maintaining the present. They like to think they can change the past to suit their needs and they do not take into account the full scope of the possible consequences.”

With each sentence the voice seemed to move and come from a different part of the room.

“The consequences of your actions will soon be on your doorstep and if you want to survive you are going to have to listen.”

“Who is that?” demanded High Brother Chad, “What sort of magic is this? Who are you?”

“My power is far beyond mere magic,” said the hunter, “As for whom I am…”

The hunter appeared right in front of the head table where everyone could see. The hunter wore a fine vest and jacket with riding pants and knee high black boots. The hunter had a helmet with a mask. The mask was black with a golden cross that divided it into two halves. There was a rapier sword at the hunter’s hip. The hunter flipped up the mask then removed the helmet. When Katarina saw the hunter’s face she stood up.

Under the helmet was an attractive young woman probably in her twenties. She had long blonde hair and gray eyes.

“You may call me Madame Deschanel,” said the hunter, “I am the Antalla, the one true Antalla. You have taken the name of Antalla in vain and now you are in great danger. Even as we speak the enemies of Antalla gather. If you do not listen to me then you are all going to die quite horribly. Oh hey you guys are serving red wine, I love a good red wine.”

How I Lost My Last Job

I have been meaning to write about this for some time.  Today seemed like as good a day as any other.

My last job I worked housekeeping in a hospital.  Working in housekeeping is bad enough but in a hospital.  Everyday you have to deal with blood and shit.  And I literally mean human blood and human shit.  Technically the housekeeping staff is not supposed to have to deal with human fluids because most of them are not certified to but it happens anyway.  I was actually one of the few people on staff who was biohazard certified.

I spent most of my days at the hospital hauling garbage to the compactor and collecting laundry.  A few times I was assinged to clean up in the ER.  The ER was not too bad.  Half the time there was nothing to do because the place was either mostly quiet or so busy we had to stay out of the way.

Anyway on to the day I lost my job.
It was the fourth of July.  I had just got off work.  The local Ribfest was within walking distance and I was going to meet my parents there.  I was barely fifty feet out of the hospital doors when my cell phone in my pocket rang.  I answered it because it was my supervisor.
She asked me if I knew that I was not supposed to come into work the next day.  Of course I did not know that, why would I not come into work the next day when I was scheduled to work that day?
The reason I was not supposed to come into work the next day was because today was my last day at this job.  This was news to me.  I was being let go but no one remembered to tell me about it until after I had left for the day.

So that is how I lost my last job.

Lain is god

Lain is watching

Lain loves you